I’m done with modern telephony. I’m not taking phone calls that I have to strain to understand because you want to use blue tooth headphones, or you want to use speaker phone, or you want to use Whatever Newest Device is Convenient For the Caller With No Thought To Whether The Callee Can Hear You.
You know who is the only person I know who uses actual phone manners? Holly. I think it's because she has experience being the "callee" and is hard of hearing and uses hearing aids.
It shouldn't take having that personal experience for other people to use basic, reasonable courtesy like they used to.
The caller who opens with, "Hello, who's this?" is my cue to hang up. Another rude thing is placing me on the speaker phone w/o asking me if it's OK. There used to be "Telephone Etiquette" that seems to exist now only at certain company call centers. The people are just following a script and they know that the call may be monitored by their supervisor so they seem to be on their toes. They thank me for calling, apologize if I've had a bit of a wait, they thank me for my patience, and express the hope that I have a good day when we're done. And sometimes they actually help me! But this seems to be the last bastion of telephone politeness in the world. Perhaps we should alert the Smithsonian.
I used to work in customer service. I HATED speaker phones. I would also add to use courtesy when leaving a message. Identify yourself and speak clearly. When you state your name speak a bit slower and always repeat your call back number-again speak slower. I cannot tell you how many times I have been unable to call someone back because I could not catch their name or number.
My city has an app residents can use to report everything from potholes to code violations. To make a report, they demand you provide both a telephone number and email. Every time they call, whether it’s to request more information or to provide an update, it’s always atrocious call quality making me always simply demand we carry the discussion over email. (I want written record anyways of anything between bureaucrats and myself)
When I miss their call and they leave a VM, they *never* provide a number to return their call. Calling back the number that actually appears on the caller ID is not the number they used to call.
Basic telephone etiquette matters, especially today where it’s so lacking. It makes is easier for you to stand out among the rest too.
I’m a bit hard of hearing so any increase in call quality that’s in control of either party is vital.
On handsets, occasionally taking some rubbing alcohol and a cotton swab to clean sweat, grit, make up, etc. can go a long way in increasing microphone and speaker quality.
For voicemails, especially cold calls or when the recipient likely doesn’t have your number stored, state your name and full number at both the beginning but restate them at the end. Keep them short too.
“Good morning, my name is X at 555-555-5555. I’m wishing to speak with Y about Z. Again my name is X and I can be reached at 555-555-5555. Thank you and have a good day.”
100% agree with this. I don’t FaceTime or Bluetooth & love my landline. Was forced to listen to a girl behind me in line discussing her private medical conditions w no concept of how inappropriate it was. And no I’m not 70 years old. Is NOTHING sacred???
YES!! I am of an age that I'm beginning to struggle to hear. And it's just good manners to do exactly what you've shared.
Another pet peeve, when you leave a message, for Gideon's sake! slow down and enunciate. I've no idea 90% of the time if that person who left a message might just be worth calling back; and I've embraced the "and I don't care" with delight.
"I didn't call you back because you didn't take a moment to think of basic courtesy. You rattled off your number so fast I couldn't decipher it, and you didn't leave your name.
Do you want to start over and take a humbler approach in this call, or shall I hang up on you?"
Thanks, Josh. At work, if possible, I make phone calls through my computer so my hands are free to access info, using two hands to type instead of one finger, but I nearly always immediately ask if the person I am speaking with can hear me clearly, and if not, then I switch to my phone. My business partner travels for almost 90% of his job and when we talk it is often through his vehicle speaker while he is driving - which is nerve wracking for me, because clarity is sacrificed, perhaps in a small way for safety. General common courtesy is on the wane, and has been for a very long time, coarsening our culture and our person-to-person relationships. I appreciate your hardline when it comes to being abused by rudeness. Everyone needs to be less tolerant of it.
I moved halfway across the country a week or so ago and hired “professional” movers.
Between getting quotes (these parasites sell your information too resulting in more calls!) and working with the company I ended up hiring, I learned that movers have next to no professional communication skills.
In general, no moving company seems to want to leave voice mails. Instead if they want to call you, they’ll just call over and over again. When you do pick up, they fail to identify themselves immediately meaning I have to ask who is calling. As a general rule, I don’t answer/return phone calls when the caller is unknown and doesn’t either have identification on the caller ID or doesn’t leave a VM.
The movers I hired were initially okay communication-wise in coordinating the pickup and they were okay with the pickup process carefully packing and loading the truck. But they also said they’d call within two to three days of the initial pickup to provide me an update of whereabouts and a delivery date. They did not.
I waited a few days in an effort to try to not come off as too demanding but after a week of zero communication, have resorted to one call (leaving a VM) and one text message per day. No responses.
If you’re moving, do it yourself. Even if it’s a U-haul out of California.
Yes! Bring manners back!
Thank you for writing this. So simple. So sane.
LMAO Josh! And landline phones costed under $50 and lasted forever!
You know who is the only person I know who uses actual phone manners? Holly. I think it's because she has experience being the "callee" and is hard of hearing and uses hearing aids.
It shouldn't take having that personal experience for other people to use basic, reasonable courtesy like they used to.
The caller who opens with, "Hello, who's this?" is my cue to hang up. Another rude thing is placing me on the speaker phone w/o asking me if it's OK. There used to be "Telephone Etiquette" that seems to exist now only at certain company call centers. The people are just following a script and they know that the call may be monitored by their supervisor so they seem to be on their toes. They thank me for calling, apologize if I've had a bit of a wait, they thank me for my patience, and express the hope that I have a good day when we're done. And sometimes they actually help me! But this seems to be the last bastion of telephone politeness in the world. Perhaps we should alert the Smithsonian.
I used to work in customer service. I HATED speaker phones. I would also add to use courtesy when leaving a message. Identify yourself and speak clearly. When you state your name speak a bit slower and always repeat your call back number-again speak slower. I cannot tell you how many times I have been unable to call someone back because I could not catch their name or number.
My city has an app residents can use to report everything from potholes to code violations. To make a report, they demand you provide both a telephone number and email. Every time they call, whether it’s to request more information or to provide an update, it’s always atrocious call quality making me always simply demand we carry the discussion over email. (I want written record anyways of anything between bureaucrats and myself)
When I miss their call and they leave a VM, they *never* provide a number to return their call. Calling back the number that actually appears on the caller ID is not the number they used to call.
I prefer to use our house phone when making calls.
Thank you Josh.
Basic telephone etiquette matters, especially today where it’s so lacking. It makes is easier for you to stand out among the rest too.
I’m a bit hard of hearing so any increase in call quality that’s in control of either party is vital.
On handsets, occasionally taking some rubbing alcohol and a cotton swab to clean sweat, grit, make up, etc. can go a long way in increasing microphone and speaker quality.
For voicemails, especially cold calls or when the recipient likely doesn’t have your number stored, state your name and full number at both the beginning but restate them at the end. Keep them short too.
“Good morning, my name is X at 555-555-5555. I’m wishing to speak with Y about Z. Again my name is X and I can be reached at 555-555-5555. Thank you and have a good day.”
100% agree with this. I don’t FaceTime or Bluetooth & love my landline. Was forced to listen to a girl behind me in line discussing her private medical conditions w no concept of how inappropriate it was. And no I’m not 70 years old. Is NOTHING sacred???
YES!! I am of an age that I'm beginning to struggle to hear. And it's just good manners to do exactly what you've shared.
Another pet peeve, when you leave a message, for Gideon's sake! slow down and enunciate. I've no idea 90% of the time if that person who left a message might just be worth calling back; and I've embraced the "and I don't care" with delight.
I've thrown it right back at people:
"I didn't call you back because you didn't take a moment to think of basic courtesy. You rattled off your number so fast I couldn't decipher it, and you didn't leave your name.
Do you want to start over and take a humbler approach in this call, or shall I hang up on you?"
I love you, Josh. You are epic!
Absolutely. 100%
Thanks, Josh. At work, if possible, I make phone calls through my computer so my hands are free to access info, using two hands to type instead of one finger, but I nearly always immediately ask if the person I am speaking with can hear me clearly, and if not, then I switch to my phone. My business partner travels for almost 90% of his job and when we talk it is often through his vehicle speaker while he is driving - which is nerve wracking for me, because clarity is sacrificed, perhaps in a small way for safety. General common courtesy is on the wane, and has been for a very long time, coarsening our culture and our person-to-person relationships. I appreciate your hardline when it comes to being abused by rudeness. Everyone needs to be less tolerant of it.
Ditto
Re-reading this now.
I moved halfway across the country a week or so ago and hired “professional” movers.
Between getting quotes (these parasites sell your information too resulting in more calls!) and working with the company I ended up hiring, I learned that movers have next to no professional communication skills.
In general, no moving company seems to want to leave voice mails. Instead if they want to call you, they’ll just call over and over again. When you do pick up, they fail to identify themselves immediately meaning I have to ask who is calling. As a general rule, I don’t answer/return phone calls when the caller is unknown and doesn’t either have identification on the caller ID or doesn’t leave a VM.
The movers I hired were initially okay communication-wise in coordinating the pickup and they were okay with the pickup process carefully packing and loading the truck. But they also said they’d call within two to three days of the initial pickup to provide me an update of whereabouts and a delivery date. They did not.
I waited a few days in an effort to try to not come off as too demanding but after a week of zero communication, have resorted to one call (leaving a VM) and one text message per day. No responses.
If you’re moving, do it yourself. Even if it’s a U-haul out of California.