Those Pell grants are absolutely criminal, but yes, takes two to tango. No one forces anyone to assume $100K of debt for a degree in gender studies. That's great about reconnecting with your friend over skateboarding. In a world of "body positivity", being in good shape is an act of rebellion. You find out who your real friends are when you stand up to The Wokeness, at the very least!
I hate to say it: it's mostly women who do this. Outside Smith? I don't notice it any more frequently from nonwhite women. When men do this to me – it's less often – it's more about male-typical aggression, there's usually taunts and/or threats of physical violence associated with the bump.
It's such a weird dynamic because I'm twice their size. When I go into a Walmart, I have to be careful or I'll seriously hurt someone just by bumping into them. So, because of my size, because I'm not a jerk, I'm actually more cautious. The Gonzo Game takes advantage of that – these rammers are actually quite empathetic, they understand the world from my perspective, understand my good faith intentions, and are able to manipulate me thereby. Empathy is more powerful than nuclear weapons.
"Empathy is more powerful than nuclear weapons" - It is!! For healing or harm. I used to believe all highly sensitive, empathetic individuals would naturally intuit the right response in view of everyone's innate value and worth. I failed to grasp just how damaging even "damaged" people can be through their own unexamined distortions. The passionate championing of perceived underdogs extrudes as a curiously self-justified abuse of others. I don't want to be afraid to share other people's burdens but I have learned to let my mind hold the reins a little firmer, even with that good horse.
That's what I used to think, too (about empathy) – now? I think the best AND the worst people are the most empathetic. I love what you wrote about balancing sharing other people's burdens with holding the reins firmly: this is something else I had to learn, too. We're not responsible for every bad thing that happens in the world, and, abusive people will use their own suffering – assuming they really *are* suffering! – as a means to violate your boundaries and take advantage of you.
I’m the sort of pedestrian who doesn’t like to make cars wait. Before dating me, my husband dated a very progressive feminist single mom from Santa Cruz. He noticed how I hurried across a crosswalk, and said this previous girlfriend had the annoying habit of intentionally slowing down and forcing drivers to wait for her. And she told him that she did this intentionally. What I thought was so interesting about that is that I knew progressives were all obsessed with the environment. Yet this progressive woman didn’t care about forcing every car at a crosswalk to burn extra gas waiting for her as she slowed down. Instead every car she could make wait for her at a crosswalk became part of some weird feminist or human v machine power dynamic going on in her head.
This was back in the late 90s when he was dating this woman. I had other friends who were progressive feminists at the time and never saw them do this. But I wonder if this comes naturally to some women who are always fighting some imaginary power dynamic or if they’re influenced by the same feminist theorists. BTW I did date a semi-famous musician at one point in the 90s, who would angrily flip off large SUVs that he considered hateful symbols of excess. I occasionally check his band’s Twitter as a way to see what’s going on in the progressive bubble and compare with my own bubble. Like in my bubble I might see all kinds of articles about how vaccine Nazis want amnesty. Then I check his bubble which is still mocking anti-vaxxers. So I know the progressive narrative hasn’t really changed on vaccines, and articles about amnesty are meaningless.
This is me, too. My mom taught me to be considerate of others. My dad taught me that you need to pay attention to what everyone is doing because many of them likely aren't paying "a damn bit" of attention.
Yes. Believe it or not, my own mother did a good job instilling basic etiquette and consideration for others in us.
I could no sooner deliberately "saunter" that way than I could stand in the middle of an aisle and block everyone because I needed to examine every box to make a selection. I'd feel like a piece of shit.
Apparently, many people are unbothered by being pieces of shit.
Hadn't even thought about it being hypocritical from an environmental angle. Great point.
I used to – in my "blue pill" days – scurry through crosswalks at a (frankly) self deprecating trot, hunched shoulders, head bowed. But it always felt degrading. Now I proceed expeditiously – and I always wave "thanks" at the motorist who slowed down – but I don't trot.
I am Canadian. We are likely to apologize to you when it was YOU who did something wrong/stupid/embarrassing. The stereotype is waning but still strong in certain generations and especially in certain provinces here.
OH MY GAWD!!! YES! Thank you for this. Im grinning ear to ear . You have made my day. I now know what to do. Crossing arms and standing still. And Im 5 ft 5 white middle aged female and I am SO SICK OF THIS SHIT. Imma King Tut ‘Em.
Bless both of you and all the sane, normal people - few though they may be - who reside in areas where many of their fellow human beings are perfect examples of the banality of evil, dupes of the truly evil. Flying monkeys, eh, Josh?
I am so thankful I live in Texas. We definitely aren't perfect; we have our "areas" - I'm looking at you Austin. Dallas. Houston. The big cities are pretty much lost - but they are land locked blue enclaves, surrounded by a great sea of red. And in that sea of red, people still wave a "thank you" when you let them out into traffic or hold a door open or head nod acknowledge that you didn't ... run them over coming out of the alley. Mostly. Lol.
Most aren't wearing masks - it seems to be the elderly who still cling although the younger, all-the-colors-of-the-crayola-skintone-pack cohort still sport the things. I don't think most of the younger set are wearing them like a magical, protective amulet although there likely are some who believe in the magic. I think many are hiding behind them, virtue signaling their allegiance or playing it safe so they aren't possibly set upon by the woke crowd. Just in case...
Six foot distancing is a thing of the past as are most plastic "protective" shields for cashiers and restaurant diners. 🙄 And people in line and at the register will converse with you.
It's been this way for 2ish years around my neck of the woods, and I by no means live in a small city. Very large metropolitan suburb with large suburban cities all around. We're almost normal although I have no doubt that another round of fear porn will have the bad faith actors all cockroach scurrying to do just what they did during the early covid period. We had them all around our now somewhat sane city, and they will have learned nothing. Their facade is necessary for they are a minority - but they are still raising the kids who will behave just as you and Arvid have detailed. Willing accomplices to save their own necks from the minority woke ravening packs of useful and useless idiots who infest all areas of the country now. They don't have the stones to stand up because they have been manipulated into a mindset of subservience - and they are oblivious.
Someone, I think it was a guest on American Thought Leaders/Jan Jekielek, put it really well: there are people out there who would gladly give up their own freedom just so they can have power over you. And I'm reading The Gulag Archipelago right now, it's a question Solzhenitsyn asks about the silent, intimidated masses: why don't they fight back? Why don't they say something? Why? Even as they're being arrested, and looking at the likely outcome of a ten year sentence to hard labor, they don't fight back.
Howdy. I spent my summers in Quebec, so I like to think of myself as an honorary French Canadian (not sure how the Quebecois feel about that – can't understand a WORD they say!).
I saw quite a few videos on YouTube last year exhorting Women of Color not to step aside on the sidewalk for white people. For some WOC, as you particularly noted to be apt to bounce off of you, it’s an overt political statement. Not surprising in Northampton MA at all.
Those Pell grants are absolutely criminal, but yes, takes two to tango. No one forces anyone to assume $100K of debt for a degree in gender studies. That's great about reconnecting with your friend over skateboarding. In a world of "body positivity", being in good shape is an act of rebellion. You find out who your real friends are when you stand up to The Wokeness, at the very least!
I assumed it is mostly white people, feeling superior because they are woke against White Supremacy?
I hate to say it: it's mostly women who do this. Outside Smith? I don't notice it any more frequently from nonwhite women. When men do this to me – it's less often – it's more about male-typical aggression, there's usually taunts and/or threats of physical violence associated with the bump.
This is definitely a woman's and a gay man's game.
It's such a weird dynamic because I'm twice their size. When I go into a Walmart, I have to be careful or I'll seriously hurt someone just by bumping into them. So, because of my size, because I'm not a jerk, I'm actually more cautious. The Gonzo Game takes advantage of that – these rammers are actually quite empathetic, they understand the world from my perspective, understand my good faith intentions, and are able to manipulate me thereby. Empathy is more powerful than nuclear weapons.
"Empathy is more powerful than nuclear weapons" - It is!! For healing or harm. I used to believe all highly sensitive, empathetic individuals would naturally intuit the right response in view of everyone's innate value and worth. I failed to grasp just how damaging even "damaged" people can be through their own unexamined distortions. The passionate championing of perceived underdogs extrudes as a curiously self-justified abuse of others. I don't want to be afraid to share other people's burdens but I have learned to let my mind hold the reins a little firmer, even with that good horse.
That's what I used to think, too (about empathy) – now? I think the best AND the worst people are the most empathetic. I love what you wrote about balancing sharing other people's burdens with holding the reins firmly: this is something else I had to learn, too. We're not responsible for every bad thing that happens in the world, and, abusive people will use their own suffering – assuming they really *are* suffering! – as a means to violate your boundaries and take advantage of you.
Excellent, and lovely to get another New Englander's perspective.
Thanks, Holly! High praise. I shadow-follow you and Twitter (now I follow-follow you). Alway enjoy what you have to say.
I’m the sort of pedestrian who doesn’t like to make cars wait. Before dating me, my husband dated a very progressive feminist single mom from Santa Cruz. He noticed how I hurried across a crosswalk, and said this previous girlfriend had the annoying habit of intentionally slowing down and forcing drivers to wait for her. And she told him that she did this intentionally. What I thought was so interesting about that is that I knew progressives were all obsessed with the environment. Yet this progressive woman didn’t care about forcing every car at a crosswalk to burn extra gas waiting for her as she slowed down. Instead every car she could make wait for her at a crosswalk became part of some weird feminist or human v machine power dynamic going on in her head.
I'm the same sort of pedestrian as you are.
That's how I always knew this behavior was deliberate. I've always known what these women were doing.
This was back in the late 90s when he was dating this woman. I had other friends who were progressive feminists at the time and never saw them do this. But I wonder if this comes naturally to some women who are always fighting some imaginary power dynamic or if they’re influenced by the same feminist theorists. BTW I did date a semi-famous musician at one point in the 90s, who would angrily flip off large SUVs that he considered hateful symbols of excess. I occasionally check his band’s Twitter as a way to see what’s going on in the progressive bubble and compare with my own bubble. Like in my bubble I might see all kinds of articles about how vaccine Nazis want amnesty. Then I check his bubble which is still mocking anti-vaxxers. So I know the progressive narrative hasn’t really changed on vaccines, and articles about amnesty are meaningless.
Accountability (real accountability, not the phony woke version!) sounds much better than "amnesty" to me.
This is me, too. My mom taught me to be considerate of others. My dad taught me that you need to pay attention to what everyone is doing because many of them likely aren't paying "a damn bit" of attention.
Yes. Believe it or not, my own mother did a good job instilling basic etiquette and consideration for others in us.
I could no sooner deliberately "saunter" that way than I could stand in the middle of an aisle and block everyone because I needed to examine every box to make a selection. I'd feel like a piece of shit.
Apparently, many people are unbothered by being pieces of shit.
I heard this once, and it stuck with me: green means legal to go. It doesn't mean safe.
Hadn't even thought about it being hypocritical from an environmental angle. Great point.
I used to – in my "blue pill" days – scurry through crosswalks at a (frankly) self deprecating trot, hunched shoulders, head bowed. But it always felt degrading. Now I proceed expeditiously – and I always wave "thanks" at the motorist who slowed down – but I don't trot.
I am Canadian. We are likely to apologize to you when it was YOU who did something wrong/stupid/embarrassing. The stereotype is waning but still strong in certain generations and especially in certain provinces here.
There is such a thing as being "too nice". I wish I had learned that earlier.
Yes, I am learning that too.
OH MY GAWD!!! YES! Thank you for this. Im grinning ear to ear . You have made my day. I now know what to do. Crossing arms and standing still. And Im 5 ft 5 white middle aged female and I am SO SICK OF THIS SHIT. Imma King Tut ‘Em.
Pro tip: assume a shallow boxer's stance, it braces you for the impact better. 🥊
Done! 😂
Show no mercy!!
Bless both of you and all the sane, normal people - few though they may be - who reside in areas where many of their fellow human beings are perfect examples of the banality of evil, dupes of the truly evil. Flying monkeys, eh, Josh?
I am so thankful I live in Texas. We definitely aren't perfect; we have our "areas" - I'm looking at you Austin. Dallas. Houston. The big cities are pretty much lost - but they are land locked blue enclaves, surrounded by a great sea of red. And in that sea of red, people still wave a "thank you" when you let them out into traffic or hold a door open or head nod acknowledge that you didn't ... run them over coming out of the alley. Mostly. Lol.
Most aren't wearing masks - it seems to be the elderly who still cling although the younger, all-the-colors-of-the-crayola-skintone-pack cohort still sport the things. I don't think most of the younger set are wearing them like a magical, protective amulet although there likely are some who believe in the magic. I think many are hiding behind them, virtue signaling their allegiance or playing it safe so they aren't possibly set upon by the woke crowd. Just in case...
Six foot distancing is a thing of the past as are most plastic "protective" shields for cashiers and restaurant diners. 🙄 And people in line and at the register will converse with you.
It's been this way for 2ish years around my neck of the woods, and I by no means live in a small city. Very large metropolitan suburb with large suburban cities all around. We're almost normal although I have no doubt that another round of fear porn will have the bad faith actors all cockroach scurrying to do just what they did during the early covid period. We had them all around our now somewhat sane city, and they will have learned nothing. Their facade is necessary for they are a minority - but they are still raising the kids who will behave just as you and Arvid have detailed. Willing accomplices to save their own necks from the minority woke ravening packs of useful and useless idiots who infest all areas of the country now. They don't have the stones to stand up because they have been manipulated into a mindset of subservience - and they are oblivious.
Someone, I think it was a guest on American Thought Leaders/Jan Jekielek, put it really well: there are people out there who would gladly give up their own freedom just so they can have power over you. And I'm reading The Gulag Archipelago right now, it's a question Solzhenitsyn asks about the silent, intimidated masses: why don't they fight back? Why don't they say something? Why? Even as they're being arrested, and looking at the likely outcome of a ten year sentence to hard labor, they don't fight back.
Greetings from Texas North! (Alberta, Canada)
Howdy. I spent my summers in Quebec, so I like to think of myself as an honorary French Canadian (not sure how the Quebecois feel about that – can't understand a WORD they say!).
You are nor alone! We find them hard to understand as well. Other accents from across the planet, no problem.
"I think it’s 100% fine for a tennis ball to bounce off a concrete wall and not the other way around. Boing-g-g!" 🙌
🎾
I saw quite a few videos on YouTube last year exhorting Women of Color not to step aside on the sidewalk for white people. For some WOC, as you particularly noted to be apt to bounce off of you, it’s an overt political statement. Not surprising in Northampton MA at all.
https://www.dailydot.com/irl/white-people-refuse-to-move-sidewalk/