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darina roche-kiang's avatar

Couldnt agree more Josh.

Hurrah for this piece.

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Karyn's avatar

It feels honestly like a war on "normal." Masculinity has been turned into a "toxin" that is responsible for all historical ills, crimes and injustices. It's also become synonymous with 'whiteness." Now, we've coated everything in a malignant femininity strain that by definition can't be criticized in polite society. It's an undercurrent of 'gentle terrorism" that fuels girl-boss tyranny and that "faggot-y" males use to secure a high ranking mascot positions in the social and work atmosphere. As a normal woman, there is nothing that makes me feel more anxious and insecure about the world than the growing number of these feminized males (and no, this has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality) In our attempts at "progress" (which I believe has become fetishized destruction) we are cheering women as they take on the most undesirable and quite honestly, parody forms of "masculinity" while so called men are "embracing" a professionalized version of 6th grade girl brattiness. It's the undoing of society.

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Josh Slocum's avatar

Preach.

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Sharon R. Fiore's avatar

I’ve been saying this for literally decades now and I’m glad some people are finally catching up.

There are some people who still say till this day that they aren’t picking only on white males in these commercials. I’ve been talking about this forever.

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Jen's avatar

This is very good. I keep looking around, wondering where the men are. A society which reviles and supresses masculinity is doomed.

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Joseph L. Wiess's avatar

Real men are in one place in two different positions. They are in jail Either as inmates or as Jailors, deputies, or Correction Officers.

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Sharon R. Fiore's avatar

Even in the 90s and early thousands, when women were attracted to metrosexuals, I couldn’t understand that for the life of me!!!

I noticed the faggots a long time ago because I can’t stand even one tiny thing that’s faggy never mind that fag society has completely taken over!!!

It’s a sick country, very sick. The whole West is sick.

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James M.'s avatar

Bold move Josh! I applaud you

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Jill's avatar

Thanks for clarifying this for me. My older brother and closest sibling, is definitely homosexual. He didn't hide it, but he didn't advertise it. Most of his many friends, from his job and neighborhood are straight. He never had children, though he would have been a great father. He's my adult children's favorite uncle. 2 or 3 Gay Pride events is probably all he ever went to. I heard him use the term "swishy" once- referring to very flamboyant gay men.

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John Lookabaugh's avatar

ABC’s overnight news show World News Tonight is one of the biggest offenders here. Their gay male news anchors make jokes about how they don’t understand sports while reading about last night’s football game. Shiny lip balm and lots of talking with the hands with extremely flexible wrists. It’s aggressively gay. Kind of like when certain black people have an absurdly large afro. They are signaling without saying a word.

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Josh Slocum's avatar

*So* obnoxious.

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David Shohl's avatar

Well said. I never belonged to the stereotypical gay community because it styles itself on clichéd effeminacy, camp and kitsch -- there may be a place for those affectations but they’re not a basis for healthy authenticity imo.

One question remains: why did this happen? I’m attracted to guys, not to guys who act like women -- why do so many gays think that being fey is sexy to other gays? Are they trying to accommodate their manner to heterosexual standards, as if to say that since they’re into men, they must be women?

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piematters's avatar

I am a woman & I'd put myself more towards the bi-side & this is something that has baffled me from the lesbian angle. If you are attracted to women, don't you want the women to look like.....women?

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The Calipers's avatar

‘Embrace’ is such a polite euphemism. Whether it’s for ‘leaning into’ a corporate trend or submitting to Islam under threat of jizya, it always makes capitulation sound so cozy.

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Josh Slocum's avatar

I don't see "embrace" as a euphemism, but as a feminization of normal verbs. "Lean into" is also a feminization; it comes from former FB CEO Sharyl Sandburg's book of that title.

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Josh Slocum's avatar

Mr. The Calipers, are you related by any chance to The Clamps?

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Kim DiGiacomo's avatar

“I wish I had a father (obviously). As much as I dreaded hearing it back then due to my fear of men and basically everyone, I needed toughening up. A masculine example and male role models would have better equipped me for adult life”.

This reflection highlights the weight of what might have been, especially regarding the guidance and strength that could have shaped you. Growing up amidst fear and without such influences makes adulthood more challenging, yet this recognition reveals a profound awareness and a desire for growth.

While the past is unchangeable, the lessons once missed can still be pursued now through mentorship, embracing challenges, and enhancing emotional and mental strength. You’ve developed resilience in ways you may not fully acknowledge. What you're expressing embodies a deep longing for guidance and growth—a powerful force that can lead to transformation.

My brother faced bullying from both our father and other kids throughout his life, and it’s clear to me that his upbringing has significantly shaped who he is today. He experienced a mental breakdown at 19, has had an unstable job history, and his relationships with women and men are quite complicated. At 60, he made the surprising decision to move back in with our father after Mom passed away. I find it astonishing that they can even spend more than five minutes in the same room together. Their relationship is perplexing; while my brother was very close to Mom, he has always been distant from Dad. Despite the differences, they seem to connect in a way I struggle to comprehend. Now, it’s up to me to make sense of it all. Our upbringing has a massive effect on who we are and what we become, its what we make of it after that determines what we do.

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R Smith's avatar

Great article. I’m sad to tell you that this applies to the UK too. I suppose the main difference is that here you can be jailed for saying things like this that the regime don’t like.

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MissJemimaGC's avatar

Yes, I'm in the UK and there's so much I'd like to say about the observations in this article, but I'd be reported and visited by the coppers for hate speech. So all I can say, Josh, is that I wholeheartedly agree with you.

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R Smith's avatar

We must speak out as often as we can. Difficult I know. But our wonderful country depends on it. And on us.

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Brenda B.'s avatar

Wow, and I thought I was just imagining it, but now I see others have noticed this.

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Sharon R. Fiore's avatar

Every single commercial has a woman making a fool out of a white male. It’s been going on forever. And there are still some people in my family who won’t listen.

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Alexander Scipio's avatar

One of my best friends, years & years ago - we traveled to sail & scuba dive the Turks & Caicos, Cayman, Exhumas, HI… worked for a f50 company in tech, etc., was gay, though unless your gaydar was on max, you’d never know it. We were sitting on a beach one night & I asked why so many gay dudes had to do the lisp & the walk, etc.? He said he had no idea. I’m sure he’d have agreed with you & this column. (He died of AIDS in the mid ‘80s… good man gone too soon.)

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Heather Oleson's avatar

I've always been a little too direct and a little too honest, particularly for the hyper progressive Portlanders where I grew up. It's hard to tell the gay guys from the straight ones there, they all speak in a cagey, slightly passive-aggressive way with that obnoxious lisp. I'm tired of people speaking with constant caveats and pandering to their super sensitive, easily offended demographic. It's annoying and unnecessary.

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Cary Cotterman's avatar

Very interesting essay, especially coming from your point of view. One of my brothers is gay, and I've had quite a few gay friends and housemates, going back to the 1970s. Most of them talked normally, but some put on the flamboyant act with the voice, hands, etc. I've always wondered what that has to do with sexual preference, and why some gay boys and men decide to cultivate those affectations, while others do not. It seems, at least in part, to be a form of in-group signaling for those to whom it's important to appear GAY, but not for those who are just gay and don't need to make a BFD about it.

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Pamela Garfield-Jaeger's avatar

Yes! and to be honest women who aren’t sure of themselves, use therapy speak and end sentences with a question inflection are super annoying too.

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Josh Slocum's avatar

I'm gonna rip up men and women for their speech patterns on the show this week, Pamela:)

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kbi's avatar

This is why you get my money, Josh. Your insights and observations are engagingly spot on and first rate.

As an aside, did anyone else in their head read the title and silently start humming the tune "Walk Like a Man"?

"Walk like a man, talk like a man

Walk like a man my son

No woman's worth crawlin' on the earth

So walk like a man, my son

Ooooooooh

(Walk, walk, walk, walk)

Ooooooooh"

Anyone? And now it's stuck in my head.

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Josh Slocum's avatar

Thank you! Everyone should give me their money.

I hope you like the cover version of the song at the bottom.

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Working Man's avatar

In addition to the faggoty gays, there’s way too many butch heteros as well. When men struggle to regain what the’ve lost, they lose some of the nuance:

“Back then, masculinity hung comfortably on the men I worked with everyday, men of all temperaments and personalities, who never gave the subject a thought, and who, in truth, would have been ashamed to think of it. “

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