You're not alone. Sticking the finger in and making yourself cry is one of the best experiences that we can give ourselves. I have been doing this with music all my life. 53 years old, and I don't know what I would do without this option for emotional outlet.
There are too many good songs to mention, but a great one for me is "Backseat" by Carina Round. She's wonderful. Goosebumps just thinking of it.
Listening to "Without You" made my brain throb, like it always does when I listen to music that touches my heart and soul, but I had no idea there is a technical reason why. It has always been my favorite Nilsson song. Probably why I like if not prefer down-tempo music is the dissonance often heard in them.
Reading this reminded me of a poem from the Prophet by Khalil Gibran
'Trees are poems the Earth writes upon the sky, we fell them down and turn them into paper, that we may record our emptiness'
You are not alone in this world despite the solipsistic nature of experience. We are here and we're listening/reading and connecting our experiences to weave the fabric of our collective consciousness.
Music is also my favorite medicine, I can relate to your experience. And I grew up on Harry Nilsson. He was a wonderful songwriter. Thank you for the mindful inspiration.
Have to be honest I actually am getting kinda mad/annoyed that you're ruling out relationships for yourself. You're not 70 or 80 years old there is plenty of time for that in your life. If you have things to work on about yourself and about relationships, there is plenty of time to do that. Ruling it out seems unnecessarily hurtful to yourself, to me. obviously, it's your life, but I think ruling it out might be too strict like your therapist might say. Trust me I feel the same way about dating in current times.. and I'm not practicing what I'm preaching here. it's funny because I always thought 'gay men have it easier' but only in regards to having an easier time hooking up. I'm not sure what relationships are like as a gay person.
I don't quite often break down when listening to music, but at lower times in my life I think that happened. It became something I did though to 'wallow' in my negative feelings. I actually don't think it's healthy anymore to do that too much. Maybe sometimes. Like for example I watched the movie 'the whale' and cried more than I usually do (ever) at the end. Sometimes I think those releases are good, but just wallowing in negative emotions is something I always have done, and I know it's not good. I had periods of just watching depressing dramas and just wallowing in the sadness, etc.
Sometimes music is tough for me. It brings back a younger me, before the days of craziness and evil. Life was so simple back then. But then I tell myself to have such memories is a privilege and I realize I have to make today good for today. Will never be the same as yesterday. All things change.
Oh that song. As a young teen I used to revel in the intense longing and yearning it inspired in me. I was at the age where I didn't know exactly what I yearned for but felt it just the same.
Josh, you always drop a great post when I have zero time to contribute. Your recent hiatus is especially meaningful to me. I could go on about this subject for days.
But for now: I was explaining one of our kids the other day about how I skipped back to the beginning of "A Letter to Elise" (The Cure) countless times during a one-man road trip from Dallas to College Station sometime in ~1995 I think. My mind was so scattered that day and I could never get to the end of the song with the satisfaction that I'd given it the full and commensurate attention it deserved.
Driving windows down at 80 MPH in a 1994 Nissan Hardbody Pickup with the tires of 18 wheelers screaming on both sides while blasting the guitar solo in "Alive" (Pearl Jam) is another random moment I can never reproduce, but that I'll also never forget.
Sailing by Christopher Cross's, I've looped it over and over again. It helps while it hurts and hurts while it helps. https://youtu.be/3KG74xOhXHI?si=Q4wYB8QdWMzgKY2V Thanks for sharing, not maudlin at all!
Musically-induced catharsis isnāt maudlin, itās a sacrament ā which is why all great religions invest their most emotional rites with music (prayers, funerals, marriage etc.).
We donāt need to know how music works technically in order to be deeply moved by it, fortunately.
That said, your analysis and the āHow Music Worksā videoās exposition are both spot-on (speaking as someone with a doctorate in classical composition).
Another supremely merciful gift of music ā in addition to the tragic catharsis ā is its miraculous ability to elevate mood better than medical interventions can: Bach is my Luvox as well as mouthpiece of my despair (as in his Lotti-inspired Crucifixus).
Thanks for your beautifully-articulated thoughts and insights.
āLife without music would be a mistake.ā ā Nietzsche
When I am too emotionally fragile to consume melodic lyric-driven music I turn to jazz ā especially the cerebral West Coast variety epitomized by Dave Brubeck, but jumping stuff from the Bix Biederbecke era all the way through the 70s jazz fusion of Chick Corea et al works as well. But when I can take it, my musical taste encompasses the sappiest of the Boomer era from Carole King forwards. Iām also a folk/Renaissance Faire performer and there are a number of our standard pieces that I can hardly get through without weeping ā āChristmas in the Trenchesā, āWilly McBrideā, and āJohnny I Hardly Knew Yeā being the most obvious examples.
That was my wedding song in 1985. My husband passed last May after nearly 40 years s of marriage...
You're not alone. Sticking the finger in and making yourself cry is one of the best experiences that we can give ourselves. I have been doing this with music all my life. 53 years old, and I don't know what I would do without this option for emotional outlet.
There are too many good songs to mention, but a great one for me is "Backseat" by Carina Round. She's wonderful. Goosebumps just thinking of it.
https://youtu.be/yrZLaxSmY44?si=Xt4ekuZn_NUBoLGk
Youāre not alone.
Listening to "Without You" made my brain throb, like it always does when I listen to music that touches my heart and soul, but I had no idea there is a technical reason why. It has always been my favorite Nilsson song. Probably why I like if not prefer down-tempo music is the dissonance often heard in them.
Reading this reminded me of a poem from the Prophet by Khalil Gibran
'Trees are poems the Earth writes upon the sky, we fell them down and turn them into paper, that we may record our emptiness'
You are not alone in this world despite the solipsistic nature of experience. We are here and we're listening/reading and connecting our experiences to weave the fabric of our collective consciousness.
Music is also my favorite medicine, I can relate to your experience. And I grew up on Harry Nilsson. He was a wonderful songwriter. Thank you for the mindful inspiration.
Cheers!
Have to be honest I actually am getting kinda mad/annoyed that you're ruling out relationships for yourself. You're not 70 or 80 years old there is plenty of time for that in your life. If you have things to work on about yourself and about relationships, there is plenty of time to do that. Ruling it out seems unnecessarily hurtful to yourself, to me. obviously, it's your life, but I think ruling it out might be too strict like your therapist might say. Trust me I feel the same way about dating in current times.. and I'm not practicing what I'm preaching here. it's funny because I always thought 'gay men have it easier' but only in regards to having an easier time hooking up. I'm not sure what relationships are like as a gay person.
I don't quite often break down when listening to music, but at lower times in my life I think that happened. It became something I did though to 'wallow' in my negative feelings. I actually don't think it's healthy anymore to do that too much. Maybe sometimes. Like for example I watched the movie 'the whale' and cried more than I usually do (ever) at the end. Sometimes I think those releases are good, but just wallowing in negative emotions is something I always have done, and I know it's not good. I had periods of just watching depressing dramas and just wallowing in the sadness, etc.
Sometimes music is tough for me. It brings back a younger me, before the days of craziness and evil. Life was so simple back then. But then I tell myself to have such memories is a privilege and I realize I have to make today good for today. Will never be the same as yesterday. All things change.
Oh that song. As a young teen I used to revel in the intense longing and yearning it inspired in me. I was at the age where I didn't know exactly what I yearned for but felt it just the same.
Josh, you always drop a great post when I have zero time to contribute. Your recent hiatus is especially meaningful to me. I could go on about this subject for days.
But for now: I was explaining one of our kids the other day about how I skipped back to the beginning of "A Letter to Elise" (The Cure) countless times during a one-man road trip from Dallas to College Station sometime in ~1995 I think. My mind was so scattered that day and I could never get to the end of the song with the satisfaction that I'd given it the full and commensurate attention it deserved.
Driving windows down at 80 MPH in a 1994 Nissan Hardbody Pickup with the tires of 18 wheelers screaming on both sides while blasting the guitar solo in "Alive" (Pearl Jam) is another random moment I can never reproduce, but that I'll also never forget.
Fellow depressive creative here, off pills (again) and moving through the anxiety. Don't know why
Karen Carpenter in certain songs, like 'Superstar; really bring out the sadness and loneliness:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJmmaIGiGBg
And k.d. lang's, 'Constant Craving' somehow also brings out the anger underneath the sadness:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXqPjx94YMg
Sailing by Christopher Cross's, I've looped it over and over again. It helps while it hurts and hurts while it helps. https://youtu.be/3KG74xOhXHI?si=Q4wYB8QdWMzgKY2V Thanks for sharing, not maudlin at all!
Musically-induced catharsis isnāt maudlin, itās a sacrament ā which is why all great religions invest their most emotional rites with music (prayers, funerals, marriage etc.).
We donāt need to know how music works technically in order to be deeply moved by it, fortunately.
That said, your analysis and the āHow Music Worksā videoās exposition are both spot-on (speaking as someone with a doctorate in classical composition).
Another supremely merciful gift of music ā in addition to the tragic catharsis ā is its miraculous ability to elevate mood better than medical interventions can: Bach is my Luvox as well as mouthpiece of my despair (as in his Lotti-inspired Crucifixus).
Thanks for your beautifully-articulated thoughts and insights.
āLife without music would be a mistake.ā ā Nietzsche
When I am too emotionally fragile to consume melodic lyric-driven music I turn to jazz ā especially the cerebral West Coast variety epitomized by Dave Brubeck, but jumping stuff from the Bix Biederbecke era all the way through the 70s jazz fusion of Chick Corea et al works as well. But when I can take it, my musical taste encompasses the sappiest of the Boomer era from Carole King forwards. Iām also a folk/Renaissance Faire performer and there are a number of our standard pieces that I can hardly get through without weeping ā āChristmas in the Trenchesā, āWilly McBrideā, and āJohnny I Hardly Knew Yeā being the most obvious examples.
Anything I could say would be superfluous...your writing keeps getting better and better.
Josh, what was your second song? The first is so good, I want to know the other.
Without You definitely has a place in the song track of my life. Another is One:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqx6OrXf0b4
And for someone unknown reason, ACDC singing Thunderstruck. All my grandkids know it's tools down and get up on your feet when that one comes on.