What's on my mind....? I'm reading a book right now "Personality Isn't Permanent" by Benjamin Hardy. I'm enjoying it and it is challenging me to think through some things in new ways.
I'm glad you continue to do what you're doing. It's so hard to be any kind of "dissenting" voice in a group (whatever that group might be), but the very fact that you continue to do it, allows/inspires others to as well in our own worlds.
Have you ever read Clarissa Pinkola Este's essay "We Were Made for these Times?" It's inspiring. Quite.
Sorry your favorite soup is no longer available. Want to learn to make it for yourself?
And yes, I like the way you say "Middle age is humbling..." It is. Over and over.
Also, I am now procrastinating on some writing work I need to do. 😂
And to give credit where it's due, my mother did a good job teaching me basic cooking, shopping, and household running. She gave me the foundation in the kitchen that stood me in good stead economically, and I've enjoyed cooking ever since.
Middle age? One day you'll look back on middle age, I hope. Oh boy, it took 2 mature MDs apparently following a certain protocol in their reports referring to me as a "pleasant, elderly woman..." to let it settle in. At least I got "pleasant."
But yes, Liz, I did learn to "make it for myself" with time. Not as good. lol
I'd have to be 25 years younger to be able to get away with calling myself 'middle age'. However, clear into my sixties I was calling myself 'advanced middle age'.
Oh, goodness. That's unacceptable. On a related note - grammar - I am dismayed by how many people, even writers who are not stupid and should know better - say things like "I should have went".
I'm not sure why it rankles my ears when I hear people say "anyways" instead of "anyway". I don't think, but can't guarantee it, that "anyways" is grammatically incorrect. It just sounds slangy to me. Another one is "bored of" instead of "bored by". I guess I'm being nit-picky 🤷🏼♀️
I am always bothered by people saying that something is "based off" of something else. I know it's a common way of speaking now and I am fussy, but every time I hear it I am mulling over how illogical it is to base something "off" rather than "on".
Doesn’t exactly bother me, but reign mistaken for rein in print prompts a mental correction. And straightjacket for straitjacket. The latter I see so often I am thinking I may be mistaken. But I am quite clear about the difference between imply and infer.
The library I used to go to had a “serenium” which was envisioned as a quiet space for reading by librarians who spent their spare minutes not in a book but looking at the internet like everybody else; but in practice became a battleground. “Loud typing” was often referenced. The combatants watched for any little slip up, a cell phone’s ring, etc.
I think it is. I should check. But I think you would write, "I'm going to seperate the whites from the colors before I do my laundry."
The past tense would be, "I seperated them."
But you would speak of available sides with a steak as being separate from the steak.
If a couple were going to split, each might say, "We're going to seperate." After, you'd speak of the former couple as "separated."
I concede it's possible that I'm mistaken. Sheldon Vanauken, author of the magnificent book, "A Severe Mercy," once wrote of his astonishment at an editor's explanation that the past tense of "dive" is not "dove," but "dived."
I'll be brave and accept my due public humiliation if I'm wrong.
Funny enough, remembering my youth, and particularly the way we handled disagreement among peers back then, helps me a lot today. It's not necessary to agree with someone on everything. You either have better arguments and are able to convince them, or you don't... and aren't. Then it's time to examine your own position. Asking for clarification if you don't understand something is normal (not an "aggression" or a sign you "lack education"), and the "con" in conversation means together, not coaxing or pressuring your counterpart into conformity. I'm faring fairly well with this approach, even with young people, so... that's what's on my mind after reading your post.
Ham and pea soup! I’ve had moments where I’ve wondered if I’m crazy and it never really existed…just sounded like something that would be good to eat. I miss it too. Pea soup alone is bleak.
I enjoy reading the odds and ends posts, especially with all the big heavy essays on Substack. But I am also holding out hope for a book. Just saying.
Sorry about a neurotic follower unloading on you. My best guess is that it's someone telling you how to vote and/or one of those ever-so-compassionate "pro-Gaza" people. Inappropriate in any case.
I haven't seen any bad behavior, but you obviously know better. I avoid social media like the plague, and yet, every once in a while, respond caustically and/or misread the tone.
We’ve come to a point in which we can’t say I generally agree with this person but on this subject/issue I don’t. I get there are some lines in the sand. If you think a man needs tampons or that masks work there’s no there, there. But I often find I have disagreements with religious people but ultimately we see the same kind of world. While middle age might mean the end of ripped abs and “going all night” it can and should bring wisdom and understanding. If you think like a 25 year old when you’re 50 you’re lost. Gay men seem to specialize in that respect. And finally the young generation hasn’t been taught basics. Writing and reading skills at the top of that list.
Your mental bric-a-brac is welcome any day, Josh. I love your writing style.
Last night was my first experience singing in public with a choir I joined in January, which I'm loving, as a female tenor. But the guy next to me, whose voice I've enjoyed following/matching in rehearsals, shout-sang, and was off-key! What the?
Maybe you've mentioned it before, but do you have a good singing voice, Josh? I imagine that you do because you have a very nice tonal quality to your speaking voice. I've been told much of my life that I have a nice speaking voice, but boy, you do NOT want to hear me sing😖 When singing talent was passed out I must not have been in line. My mom, grandmother, uncles and some cousins have or had great voices.
It's untrained. I sing a lot when I'm by myself, and some days it's nice and clear with good control over vibrato. Other days it's worse, and I can hear every mistake.
I had an aunt who died at nearly 90 in 2015. Once in a phone discussion, I mentioned a song from the 1940s. She didn't know which one I meant. I said, "Oh, you know, the one that begins..." and I recited the lyric of the first line because I, too, have a lousy singing voice. ( Someone once said, "You're always on key, you just can't sing worth a damn. )
"Oh," my aunt said. "You mean...and she sang it in what used to be called "a supper club voice." ( Think June Christy. )
Not only was she flawless, the timbre of her voice was of professional calibre. I was shocked. I asked her whether she was aware of the remarkable quality of her voice.
"No."
"If you could have, wouldn't you have liked to have a professional career?"
"Not really."
Someone once said, "It's not enough to have a talent. You have to have a talent for that talent."
Your aunt sounds like she was not a seeker of the limelight. The songbirds in my family showcased their beautiful voices in the church choir and a couple of them in the local little theater. I think they were content with that.
For the first time in a long time, I walked into a Kroger’s here (which is a standard supermarket here). I am usually a Trader Joe’s person as I get easily overwhelmed with too many options and the standard multiple variations in US stores… I was shocked about how empty the shelves looked and how trashy even in this upper middle class area. All I wanted was soup noodles. Like standard soup noodles as I was making a chicken soup from scratch.
It was near impossible to find and then only one version. They had about 20 self serving cash out areas non of which seemed functioning. So I waited in line at a normal manned cash register. And yes, manned is the right word, because it was a male cashier… ;-)
I do not know why standards like shelf management, service, cleanliness, functioning equipment, social behavior have all gone downhill so much.
Kroger in my area seems never to have more than one or two checkout lanes with a person at the register. I'm ok with self checkout for 5-6 items or less - but a whole shopping cart - no way. Maybe if they offered a 5% discount on the total (to share in savings with customers) - but even then not a great trade. Is it done by them to save labor expenses - or can't they find qualified employees? I think it's mostly the former - which discourages me (and others I'm sure) from shopping their stores.
I wonder if it ever occurs to these bean counters that if they brought back service, hired more employees, and treated them well, customers would be likely to find the stores so attractive that they'd easily recoup the extra money they've spent?
I live close enough to the border that HEB, the company store of Texas, fills in with Mexican products sometimes: Mexican TP and shockingly cheap laundry detergent. Hot dogs and other things labeled Fud brand. Umlaut over the u. I think this means Food brand food.
I never encounter anyone who knows what "begs the question" actually means, or the difference between "uninterested" and "disinterested". It ain't easy being a tiresome pedant.
I'm always trying to think of subtle ways to trigger them.
I've kept one of those Aunt Jemima bottles, and an old Uncle Ben cannister, just as mementos of a more rational time. I need a Land O' Lakes butter box with the Indian maiden to complete my collection. The last POC mascot I saw was the black Cream of Wheat guy, but I fear he's been cancelled, too. Only white characters can front products, now. Kinda ironic.
Do you remember the guy in Washington, DC ( I think he was a city councilman ) who eventually was forced to resign by interest group pressure because he used the word, "niggardly?"
Good brics, good bracs there. I am mostly thinking about health, fertility, productivity, and breakfast burritos. Lately I have a constant sense of being just slightly out of reach of a good idea, which actually feels quite nice and hopeful, although somewhat frustrating. Take care, I hope you enjoy the coming of Spring.
When I was in my 30s I worked as a secretary at a graduate school of psychology. I make some side money by editing dissertations. Now, at the time, I was a high school dropout, so you might ask, how the hell did I land such a gig?
I have always been a compulsive reader, and that is how I learned to write (plus they used to teach English composition when I was in school). I discovered that PhD students had no clue about grammar, or how to make an argument and defend it. They also didn't know how to paraphrase, how to do citations, etc. I helped to push a lot of these people over the finish line and I am not particularly proud of that.
This was in the 80s, and I am quite sure that it is much, much worse now. Good, clear reasoning is what lies behind good writing, and a good writer welcomes constructive feedback. With the advent of woke mindsets, I never would have survived doing this type of work because these people can't handle any feedback on their "work."
Yes, and I think it helped to go through all those "parts of speech" and spelling drills that I had when I was in elementary school. I used to dread those things, but now I believe that they gave me a foundation. I know they don't teach English that way any more, to everyone's detriment.
Josh, even when you don't have an overarching theme in your essay - and write instead about "bric-a-brac" topics, your honesty, observations and insights are refreshing to read.
Bad writing and speaking isn't limited to the young. There is a political commentator on YouTube who uses "begs the question" when he means "raises the question". He's a lawyer, so he ought to know better. There is a hobby forum I follow where the writing is so weird I wish that Sister Mary Imaculata would rise from her grave and beat them to death with a ruler.
Josh, I can relate to all of this!
What's on my mind....? I'm reading a book right now "Personality Isn't Permanent" by Benjamin Hardy. I'm enjoying it and it is challenging me to think through some things in new ways.
I'm glad you continue to do what you're doing. It's so hard to be any kind of "dissenting" voice in a group (whatever that group might be), but the very fact that you continue to do it, allows/inspires others to as well in our own worlds.
Have you ever read Clarissa Pinkola Este's essay "We Were Made for these Times?" It's inspiring. Quite.
Sorry your favorite soup is no longer available. Want to learn to make it for yourself?
And yes, I like the way you say "Middle age is humbling..." It is. Over and over.
Also, I am now procrastinating on some writing work I need to do. 😂
Wishing you well!
Thanks Liz:)
I make very good split pea from scratch (I'm a good all around cook), but I just loved Campbell's as a prepared food indulgence.
Oh yes! Small indulgences are so important. 😊
And to give credit where it's due, my mother did a good job teaching me basic cooking, shopping, and household running. She gave me the foundation in the kitchen that stood me in good stead economically, and I've enjoyed cooking ever since.
Awesome! I find cooking to be one of those foundational skills. Glad it’s something you still have a solid relationship with. ☺️
Middle age? One day you'll look back on middle age, I hope. Oh boy, it took 2 mature MDs apparently following a certain protocol in their reports referring to me as a "pleasant, elderly woman..." to let it settle in. At least I got "pleasant."
But yes, Liz, I did learn to "make it for myself" with time. Not as good. lol
I'd have to be 25 years younger to be able to get away with calling myself 'middle age'. However, clear into my sixties I was calling myself 'advanced middle age'.
I have been bothered for years that people use the word "flaunt" when they mean "flout".
Yes. Also "staunch" for "stanch".
Oh, goodness. That's unacceptable. On a related note - grammar - I am dismayed by how many people, even writers who are not stupid and should know better - say things like "I should have went".
I'm not sure why it rankles my ears when I hear people say "anyways" instead of "anyway". I don't think, but can't guarantee it, that "anyways" is grammatically incorrect. It just sounds slangy to me. Another one is "bored of" instead of "bored by". I guess I'm being nit-picky 🤷🏼♀️
I am always bothered by people saying that something is "based off" of something else. I know it's a common way of speaking now and I am fussy, but every time I hear it I am mulling over how illogical it is to base something "off" rather than "on".
Same. The other one that gets me--and it's entirely Millennials--is:
"It wasn't that big of a deal," or "It wasn't that good of a movie."
No need for "of".
Yes! Yes! Thank you, Josh. I haven't seen anyone else say that.
I started saying “anyhoo” years ago and seems like I’m not going back so it can get worse.
Funny!! I say it that way, too, but it's okay taking liberties for fun.
BANNED
For hoo long?
I heard a guy who's a teacher, and intelligent, use it. I wanted to scream.
Doesn’t exactly bother me, but reign mistaken for rein in print prompts a mental correction. And straightjacket for straitjacket. The latter I see so often I am thinking I may be mistaken. But I am quite clear about the difference between imply and infer.
You aren't mistaken.
Thank God, tuberculosis is a controlled disease, otherwise, we'd have people saying "sanitarium" instead of "sanitorium."
Another thing I see all the time: "separated" when it should be "seperated."
Shouldn't it? Sometimes, I do wonder.
The library I used to go to had a “serenium” which was envisioned as a quiet space for reading by librarians who spent their spare minutes not in a book but looking at the internet like everybody else; but in practice became a battleground. “Loud typing” was often referenced. The combatants watched for any little slip up, a cell phone’s ring, etc.
Wait, "seperated" is a word?
I think it is. I should check. But I think you would write, "I'm going to seperate the whites from the colors before I do my laundry."
The past tense would be, "I seperated them."
But you would speak of available sides with a steak as being separate from the steak.
If a couple were going to split, each might say, "We're going to seperate." After, you'd speak of the former couple as "separated."
I concede it's possible that I'm mistaken. Sheldon Vanauken, author of the magnificent book, "A Severe Mercy," once wrote of his astonishment at an editor's explanation that the past tense of "dive" is not "dove," but "dived."
I'll be brave and accept my due public humiliation if I'm wrong.
The online dictionaries say you're right. Oh, the humiliation! Seppuku is my only way out.
"Loose" for "Lose." "Welp" for "Well."
Funny enough, remembering my youth, and particularly the way we handled disagreement among peers back then, helps me a lot today. It's not necessary to agree with someone on everything. You either have better arguments and are able to convince them, or you don't... and aren't. Then it's time to examine your own position. Asking for clarification if you don't understand something is normal (not an "aggression" or a sign you "lack education"), and the "con" in conversation means together, not coaxing or pressuring your counterpart into conformity. I'm faring fairly well with this approach, even with young people, so... that's what's on my mind after reading your post.
Ham and pea soup! I’ve had moments where I’ve wondered if I’m crazy and it never really existed…just sounded like something that would be good to eat. I miss it too. Pea soup alone is bleak.
I enjoy reading the odds and ends posts, especially with all the big heavy essays on Substack. But I am also holding out hope for a book. Just saying.
This kind of feature inspired me to post my own notes and ramblings and ideas. I love these kinds of pieces.
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/phone-notes?r=1neg52
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/another-long-list-of-unwritten-things?r=1neg52
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/a-long-list-of-things-i-havent-written?r=1neg52
Oh good. I like reading those from people, too.
Sorry about a neurotic follower unloading on you. My best guess is that it's someone telling you how to vote and/or one of those ever-so-compassionate "pro-Gaza" people. Inappropriate in any case.
Honestly, I have it coming. It's a good reminder to me about my own bad behavior.
I haven't seen any bad behavior, but you obviously know better. I avoid social media like the plague, and yet, every once in a while, respond caustically and/or misread the tone.
We’ve come to a point in which we can’t say I generally agree with this person but on this subject/issue I don’t. I get there are some lines in the sand. If you think a man needs tampons or that masks work there’s no there, there. But I often find I have disagreements with religious people but ultimately we see the same kind of world. While middle age might mean the end of ripped abs and “going all night” it can and should bring wisdom and understanding. If you think like a 25 year old when you’re 50 you’re lost. Gay men seem to specialize in that respect. And finally the young generation hasn’t been taught basics. Writing and reading skills at the top of that list.
Your mental bric-a-brac is welcome any day, Josh. I love your writing style.
Last night was my first experience singing in public with a choir I joined in January, which I'm loving, as a female tenor. But the guy next to me, whose voice I've enjoyed following/matching in rehearsals, shout-sang, and was off-key! What the?
Ugh. Cannot stand when a voice or instrument is off-pitch!
Maybe you've mentioned it before, but do you have a good singing voice, Josh? I imagine that you do because you have a very nice tonal quality to your speaking voice. I've been told much of my life that I have a nice speaking voice, but boy, you do NOT want to hear me sing😖 When singing talent was passed out I must not have been in line. My mom, grandmother, uncles and some cousins have or had great voices.
It's untrained. I sing a lot when I'm by myself, and some days it's nice and clear with good control over vibrato. Other days it's worse, and I can hear every mistake.
I had an aunt who died at nearly 90 in 2015. Once in a phone discussion, I mentioned a song from the 1940s. She didn't know which one I meant. I said, "Oh, you know, the one that begins..." and I recited the lyric of the first line because I, too, have a lousy singing voice. ( Someone once said, "You're always on key, you just can't sing worth a damn. )
"Oh," my aunt said. "You mean...and she sang it in what used to be called "a supper club voice." ( Think June Christy. )
Not only was she flawless, the timbre of her voice was of professional calibre. I was shocked. I asked her whether she was aware of the remarkable quality of her voice.
"No."
"If you could have, wouldn't you have liked to have a professional career?"
"Not really."
Someone once said, "It's not enough to have a talent. You have to have a talent for that talent."
Your aunt sounds like she was not a seeker of the limelight. The songbirds in my family showcased their beautiful voices in the church choir and a couple of them in the local little theater. I think they were content with that.
She wasn't, but it was deeper than that. She was a rather lifeless person.
Yes the Covid casualties.
For the first time in a long time, I walked into a Kroger’s here (which is a standard supermarket here). I am usually a Trader Joe’s person as I get easily overwhelmed with too many options and the standard multiple variations in US stores… I was shocked about how empty the shelves looked and how trashy even in this upper middle class area. All I wanted was soup noodles. Like standard soup noodles as I was making a chicken soup from scratch.
It was near impossible to find and then only one version. They had about 20 self serving cash out areas non of which seemed functioning. So I waited in line at a normal manned cash register. And yes, manned is the right word, because it was a male cashier… ;-)
I do not know why standards like shelf management, service, cleanliness, functioning equipment, social behavior have all gone downhill so much.
I likely will not go back any time soon.
Kroger in my area seems never to have more than one or two checkout lanes with a person at the register. I'm ok with self checkout for 5-6 items or less - but a whole shopping cart - no way. Maybe if they offered a 5% discount on the total (to share in savings with customers) - but even then not a great trade. Is it done by them to save labor expenses - or can't they find qualified employees? I think it's mostly the former - which discourages me (and others I'm sure) from shopping their stores.
I wonder if it ever occurs to these bean counters that if they brought back service, hired more employees, and treated them well, customers would be likely to find the stores so attractive that they'd easily recoup the extra money they've spent?
I live close enough to the border that HEB, the company store of Texas, fills in with Mexican products sometimes: Mexican TP and shockingly cheap laundry detergent. Hot dogs and other things labeled Fud brand. Umlaut over the u. I think this means Food brand food.
Lipton peach iced tea went away forever.
I never encounter anyone who knows what "begs the question" actually means, or the difference between "uninterested" and "disinterested". It ain't easy being a tiresome pedant.
haha, I know what you mean. How many people would you offend if you used the word "niggardly"?
I'd use "niggardly" on purpose around my in-laws just to wind them up. I had a box of Uncle Ben's rice once and they said it was racist.
👏 You're my kind🥰
lol. Please invite me over next time they visit. I’ll bring over a bottle of Aunt Jemima syrup.
I'm always trying to think of subtle ways to trigger them.
I've kept one of those Aunt Jemima bottles, and an old Uncle Ben cannister, just as mementos of a more rational time. I need a Land O' Lakes butter box with the Indian maiden to complete my collection. The last POC mascot I saw was the black Cream of Wheat guy, but I fear he's been cancelled, too. Only white characters can front products, now. Kinda ironic.
Do you remember the guy in Washington, DC ( I think he was a city councilman ) who eventually was forced to resign by interest group pressure because he used the word, "niggardly?"
Good brics, good bracs there. I am mostly thinking about health, fertility, productivity, and breakfast burritos. Lately I have a constant sense of being just slightly out of reach of a good idea, which actually feels quite nice and hopeful, although somewhat frustrating. Take care, I hope you enjoy the coming of Spring.
When I was in my 30s I worked as a secretary at a graduate school of psychology. I make some side money by editing dissertations. Now, at the time, I was a high school dropout, so you might ask, how the hell did I land such a gig?
I have always been a compulsive reader, and that is how I learned to write (plus they used to teach English composition when I was in school). I discovered that PhD students had no clue about grammar, or how to make an argument and defend it. They also didn't know how to paraphrase, how to do citations, etc. I helped to push a lot of these people over the finish line and I am not particularly proud of that.
This was in the 80s, and I am quite sure that it is much, much worse now. Good, clear reasoning is what lies behind good writing, and a good writer welcomes constructive feedback. With the advent of woke mindsets, I never would have survived doing this type of work because these people can't handle any feedback on their "work."
Just being an avid reader is a masterclass all its own: comprehension, spelling, vocabulary, sentence structure, can be learned just by reading.
Yes, and I think it helped to go through all those "parts of speech" and spelling drills that I had when I was in elementary school. I used to dread those things, but now I believe that they gave me a foundation. I know they don't teach English that way any more, to everyone's detriment.
Josh, even when you don't have an overarching theme in your essay - and write instead about "bric-a-brac" topics, your honesty, observations and insights are refreshing to read.
Bad writing and speaking isn't limited to the young. There is a political commentator on YouTube who uses "begs the question" when he means "raises the question". He's a lawyer, so he ought to know better. There is a hobby forum I follow where the writing is so weird I wish that Sister Mary Imaculata would rise from her grave and beat them to death with a ruler.
It's like when you have influence, people tell you what to do with it. But why can't they just trust people? And accept differences?
Yippee, I knew about "fair use" .
When a large group think the pronouns they/them can apply to one person what do you expect???
Something that burns my bacon. The use of "on accident instead of by accident!!
And don't forget the 'g" sound in recognize!!!
I HATE "reckonize". It makes adults sound like stupid white trash kids from the trailer court where parents don't make them do their homework.