“Nice” people (which is analogous to Agreeable People) in my experience, are typically cowards who are obsessed with what other people think of them. Jordan Peterson does a great dissection of agreeable vs. disagreeable people in his YouTube videos. If you want to see where you rank you can even take his personality test.
People nowadays mix up the words ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ and this has caused many to believe they mean the same thing. They do not. Our modern dictionaries DO define them as very nearly the same, but this wasn’t always so.
I wrote about this awhile back and have done my best to teach my children the difference. Words and how one uses them matter.
Perhaps, in many people’s perception, you aren’t nice. BUT I happen to know that you are incredibly kind.
Yes Aziu! Thank you for reminding me of that. I’ve never thought of them as meaning anywhere near the same thing and we raised our children (homeschooled) this way. Problem is I don’t think proper use of language matters to most people.
I have the opposite personality to you - one reason among many that I treasure both your work and your friendship. You inspire me to challenge my natural reticence and strive for confidence, firmness, and boldness. That’s growth. I’m thankful for you, exactly as you are.
I feel that way too! When people describe me, I'm too nice. It's a problem. I enjoy Josh's candor, he's real and doesn't apologize for it. Something I need to work on. I'm real, I'm just too agreeable with some people.
I hear you. I've stepped up many times in the last few months to be the "bad cop" who was able to be direct and not over the top. Someone has to do it, but no one really appreciates you for doing what needs to be done.
My favorite musician (who was cancelled two years ago) has released his new album. I can't get enough of it. He's not well known outside the west coast and should be; hope you don't mind if I share.
I think so. I suspect now it carries social capital at low cost. I stand with [current thing] on social media. Wafer thin commitment of course, which will help with its destruction. The NPCs don't really stand with Ukrainian trans kids in Gaza, lol.
I'm going to butcher this quote I saw during COVID that helped me a lot (sorry, but the gist of it holds true). It is very applicable here. It was from a woman whose Jewish mom survived the Holocaust in Germany, it went something like:
"My mom lived next door to perfectly nice people who never questioned the Nazis, who turned in their neighbors and looked the other way when they were taken away. They only wanted to discuss 'happy things.' You know who weren't 'nice people?' The dissenters."
No, Tom. You don't get to play that game.
I deleted your comment because you tried to start drama. Your comment was "I know who this was aimed at."
You did this deliberately, even after you read my preamble that asked people not to personalize this.
You are playing narcissistic games, and everyone can now see what they are. And you are prevented from commenting here again.
"Nice people are often not good people and good people are often not nice people." ~Ernie J Zelinski
Stay you! Love it!
Same!
“Nice” people (which is analogous to Agreeable People) in my experience, are typically cowards who are obsessed with what other people think of them. Jordan Peterson does a great dissection of agreeable vs. disagreeable people in his YouTube videos. If you want to see where you rank you can even take his personality test.
I was reminded of this, too! Jordan Peterson totally led me to question the value of excessive agreeableness.
The fact that Jordan himself said he scored 95 (out of 100) in agreeableness shows there is hope for anyone.
But Jordan is Canadian! LOL
Well put, John!
People nowadays mix up the words ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ and this has caused many to believe they mean the same thing. They do not. Our modern dictionaries DO define them as very nearly the same, but this wasn’t always so.
I wrote about this awhile back and have done my best to teach my children the difference. Words and how one uses them matter.
Perhaps, in many people’s perception, you aren’t nice. BUT I happen to know that you are incredibly kind.
Yes. “Nice” is a behavioral strategy; “kind” is a character trait.
Perfectly put.
This. 100%
Thanks, Ellen.
Nice comes from latin for "know nothing". Kind has a root in blood kinship. They are almost opposite to me.
Yes Aziu! Thank you for reminding me of that. I’ve never thought of them as meaning anywhere near the same thing and we raised our children (homeschooled) this way. Problem is I don’t think proper use of language matters to most people.
I have the opposite personality to you - one reason among many that I treasure both your work and your friendship. You inspire me to challenge my natural reticence and strive for confidence, firmness, and boldness. That’s growth. I’m thankful for you, exactly as you are.
I feel that way too! When people describe me, I'm too nice. It's a problem. I enjoy Josh's candor, he's real and doesn't apologize for it. Something I need to work on. I'm real, I'm just too agreeable with some people.
I hear you. I've stepped up many times in the last few months to be the "bad cop" who was able to be direct and not over the top. Someone has to do it, but no one really appreciates you for doing what needs to be done.
My favorite musician (who was cancelled two years ago) has released his new album. I can't get enough of it. He's not well known outside the west coast and should be; hope you don't mind if I share.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBMhtgb3nEY
" but no one really appreciates you for doing what needs to be done."
This is a sad FACT....that you will get castigated for doing the right thing, says much about society today.
The West needs more bluntness and less feminized discourse
Absolutely!
I agree, although it especially needs less tactical niceness. Nice as a performance to demonstrate their superiority.
Yes this is especially sinister. I suppose humans have always been this way, but it's so much easier now to broadcast one's moral superiority.
I think so. I suspect now it carries social capital at low cost. I stand with [current thing] on social media. Wafer thin commitment of course, which will help with its destruction. The NPCs don't really stand with Ukrainian trans kids in Gaza, lol.
Spot on.
Darn right it's o.k. It's always been o.k., but now as much as ever the message is what matters.
You are a role model. You motivate me to work on myself, which means staying caring but dropping people pleasing. Thank you.
I can spot a nice person who isn't a kind person pretty easily. I stay away from them.
I love your style of "not nice".
Also, I Believe you.
I'm going to butcher this quote I saw during COVID that helped me a lot (sorry, but the gist of it holds true). It is very applicable here. It was from a woman whose Jewish mom survived the Holocaust in Germany, it went something like:
"My mom lived next door to perfectly nice people who never questioned the Nazis, who turned in their neighbors and looked the other way when they were taken away. They only wanted to discuss 'happy things.' You know who weren't 'nice people?' The dissenters."