Sorry had to say that first... I doubt the police will do anything because there was no accident right? Even when there is they only right a report even if it's evident who is at fault. Sadly it's all about blaming others for predicaments instead of self responsibility! Not sure how to fix that!
The problem with police intervention in these cases is the public is just as aggressive towards them, if not more so, and the powers that be would punish them not the driver. A societal change is the only thing, at this point, that will work. Is that possible today? I profoundly doubt it. I do not travel in large cities very often and I will be doing so very soon on vacation. I am filled with trepidation that these types of things will happen to me, that my possessions and body will be at risk. I wish I could help brainstorm, Josh, but I just cannot see any light here.
I know. And you know what? I live in a town of 6,000. This is old New England. It's nowhere near "urban". Even Burlington next door is just a large small town.
And yet it's this dangerous here. Just to go 1.5 miles to the market.
Small towns used to have a different vibe, a different mind set prevailed. It wasn’t always positive but it was usually more responsible and respectful simply because you couldn’t hide as easily.
Oh, well, ignore my suggestion to move, then, lol. My; maybe move to a southern small town? We're near one, and it's nothing like that, even being fairly close to an interstate highway.
I'm moving out to the country (still in vermont, but it's all I can do right now. I'm not made of money) in a couple of months. That should help some. Until I have to go into town, I guess.
Something similar happened to me last year, except I did slam in to the guy who pulled across my path - and I was going about 60mph. We both ended up in the ER, but he was in much worse shape (he survived).
I saw him start to move forward to cross the highway, but figured he'd seen me, and thought to myself, "there's no way he's gonna pull out". Before I could react he was already in my path - and BAM!
Bad assumption. Now I assume that everyone on the road is going to make the stupidest mistakes possible and I drive accordingly.
There is a deterioration in following rules. Certain groups feel they do not need to obey any. Here it is the middle aged upper middle class woman. They drive too slow, ignore stop signs, and seemingly are only able to pay attention to one other participant in traffic and fail as soon as there are two or more.
In other areas in my state it is overweight black women that drive at least 20min es under the speed limit. No exaggeration.
In parking garages, it is people that refuse to walk an extra step and hold up other drivers because they are waiting for the perfect spot right at the entrance. Sometimes slamming on the brakes and putting in reverse without warning or paying attention when they accidentally drove by a parking spot they wanted.
Do we need more regular tests not just for vision but also test rules? More driving tests?
I agree for the most part, and they're usually in big-ass SUVs like you describe. I've noticed though that native southerners aren't as bad about it (here) as transplants. Those chicks bitch about all the things, though.
Josh, I think you have a point. I personally haven't been driving for awhile, so I am not on the road much, but I am certain that the current zeitgeist of feminist victimhood culture is creating a generation of female drivers with more general unhappiness, resentment and hostility (and I am not talking about happily married wives and mothers - that are becoming fewer in number).
Women feel "empowered" now. Being "butch" behind the wheel gives them a penis high. And they deserve it after all the crap they've had to endure for years! Years, I tell you!! Since like the beginning of time!!! How dare you equate the exercise of their empowerment with crappy driving. Typical male trying out your pathetic attempt to exercise the patriarchal system that seeks to keep women docile behind the wheel, barefoot and pregnant, slaving in the kitchen. How dare you??? 🤣
I hate having to drive. People are either deliberately obtuse, willfully ignorant, completely stupid, or knowingly evil when they pull the crap they do while navigating a 2000 pound killing machine. And people bitch about guns and gun violence... Ask a trucker what it's like to have to lock up their brakes when an idiot in Yugo pulls in front of them on the highway. People don't understand physics.
You're not wrong about this, by my observation. My husband and I are out driving for several hours every day. It has become a running joke between us that every time someone does something stupid while driving, we sat it is probably another woman. 9 out of 10 times, we are right. Maybe more than that, honestly. 😄
Terrifying! I am so sorry this happened to you. People are definitely driving like fools now. Probably the clot shot. I was driving on the beltway around DC a month ago. We were all going about 70. Suddenly the car to my right and slightly behind immediately swerved into my lane and took off down the beltway. Were it not for decent peripheral vision, and no car to the immediate left of me, I would probably be dead now. Now I drive very, very conservatively. I am an extremely defensive driver. I keep so much space between myself and the car in front of me that people driving with me comment. I don’t care. I want to be able to make a swift move left or right, or come to a complete stop if I need to. I’m from the south. Down there we let people in to merge. We pull over for funerals. We even signal people that there’s a cop ahead to try to keep them from getting a ticket, and to slow down. Even down there it is all falling away. Left is right, black is white, up is down. That’s the world in which we live now. Bless you and thank God you’re alive.
Have you noticed now that people no longer recognize the courtesy signals from other drivers?
Example. For most of my life, it was common to flash your headlights at someone who was driving in the dark without their lights on. Almost every time I did, the other person put his lights on. At least half the time, he'd flash me back to say "thank you."
Today? It's been at least five years since I've seen anyone respond. I don't flash my lights anymore. Not a single person has turned on his headlights from me doing this in years.
What gives? Do they not know? Or, and I hate that I suspect this, are they deliberately choosing to keep their lights off so that they "win" and don't experience being "corrected" by another driver?
YES on dash cam!! That way, it isn't just your word vs. theirs -- there will be proof that yes, someone really WAS that outrageous and that you didn't make it up (people are shameless that way) and weren't exaggerating (part of the general "Well, I could always say that . . . " gaslighting sociopathy.
I live in Atlanta where the driving has gone from nutty to psychotic in the last 3 years. Add in bikers on crotch rockets racing on the highways non the weekend. Buy a dashcam. Set it up so that it doesn’t record sound, though. At least you will have evidence if something goes wrong.
I’ve not been cussed at, but I can’t tell you how many times in recent months people pull out of side streets or driveways WITHOUT looking! Because I am an aware driver, these have not resulted in accidents, but I would bet big money that these same people are going to be responsible for someone’s major injury or even death. It’s not been old people. It’s been mostly 30-40 year old women in large SUVs. I have no idea what is going on, but I worry that the “Mom wine” culture is moving up earlier in the day. I like your ideas and I think it all has to be done in concert to affect change.
I think the leaders, who egg on the others, know exactly what they're unlocking. As Patrisse Cullors of BLM said, "We're trained Marxists." Create chaos, from which people want to be rescued, then offer up the strongman leader who will do so. It's such an ancient pattern that it's described well in Polybius' Histories, from ca 100 BC: http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Polybius/6*.html
The first time I read it I almost cried. My husband, whose post-high-school academic education came later in life, was angry as he learned so much that he thought should have been taught routinely (and used to be). About so many things, he said, "Why didn't anybody *tell* me this?!" Though I had academic degrees earlier in life than he did, I felt the same way, as I learned the important things, most of which had never been in any of my curriculae. I learned most of it through homeschooling our son. "God works in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform."
It is normal now. My husband and I discuss this all the time. He has gotten to the point that he hates leaving the house. Quick story, not about driving but it's the same sort of thing that has become normal: On Monday I had an appointment for a windshield replacement, immediately followed by an appointment to trade in the car and pick up my new car at the dealership. The job was estimated to take 2 hours. My husband and I walked down the street to find somewhere to eat. Monday at 10am in New England in April? The only place open was McDonald's. We walked in, ordered and paid at the kiosk. We received our order without incident. But we had time to kill and my husband decided to get an order of nuggets. Back to the kiosk, ordered and paid. Fifteen minutes went by, then 20, then 30. I got a text that the car was ready. Went to the counter with the ticket and asked a 40-something female employee to refund the order because we couldn't wait any longer. Her reaction was, "What are you waiting for?" I said, at this point it doesn't matter, we have to go. She made a face and said, "Were you waiting outside?" No, I indicated our table, we were sitting right there. "What are you waiting for?" she demanded. I handed her the ticket. "Well that's why," she said with a tone of contempt, "You ordered the spicy nuggets." I just looked at her. What does that mean? "We don't have them yet, I don't why they are on the kiosk," she said, as if this concluded the matter. "We have to go, please refund the order," I said. She made a face and said something I don't remember now. I said, "We don't work here. Please refund the order." She stormed over to a register and sneered, "You don't have to be nasty!" I stared at her, trying my best to remain calm. She went on, "I am trying to EXPLAIN to you WHY and APOLOGIZE and you're being NASTY," accompanied by many ugly facial expressions. In a low voice I said, "Please. Refund. The. Order." It took another 5 minutes of her bitching at me, needing the debit card again, making me sign. So they got a ticket for a paid order for an item they didn't have, and instead of finding the party that placed the order they ignored it and went about their day. And when I had the audacity to expect not to pay for food that doesn't exist, it was my fault. 2023 America.
I HEAR YOU. I'll admit that I've stopped going very many places either, plus limit my transactions that involve purchasing things, because I never know what is going to be out there. I'm glad I pretty much stay out of restaurants; have heard more stories LIKE this one that convince me that something weird has happened with the service-element as far as fast-food is concerned.
& it’s bad at Whole Foods too, used to be a nice place to shop. Fast” food “isn’t really food anymore…full of endocrine disrupters and plastic particles
It certainly seems like online culture, the kind where the illusion of anonymity emboldens abusive behavior, has started bleeding into the real world, more and more. I guess this is what happens when a significant proportion of a generation is raised and socialized online. They think this is how you do things: you attack, overwhelm, slander, defame. They’re acting like we’re all just NPCs, to be either used to get what they want, or utterly destroy if they resist. It doesn’t seem to occur to them at all that we don’t magically disappear once they’re done with us, or that their actions are actually ensuring their opposition has the motivation it takes to fight them and win.
I keep trying to figure out why this gender thing appeals to women, in particular, when the ideology erases women and destroys our protections and rights. There is a type of woman that will happily throw other women under the bus for the sake of a man, or men in general. Those girls are usually attractive and young, but not all. Then there are the ones like your would be executioner behind the wheel today. Very different motivation. I suspect that, when they become involved in gender nonsense, they see it as a way to redeem themselves for the sin of not being hot. I know that sounds weird, but it’s something I’ve witnessed over and over. Fat, depressed, envious, resentful, with a big dose of self loathing in spite of the fact that they made all the choices that got them where they are now. Some overcompensate by being brash and loud, some maintain a facade of meekness.
Not what you asked, I know, lol. Just thinking out loud.
Can you install a dash cam? You could present it to law enforcement once you collected a few examples. I’ll think on what else can be done.
That woman is lucky she doesn’t live in an enthusiastically pro 2A area. I’d be scared to talk to strangers like that, especially strange men. Not that I think men are just inherently dangerous. Not implying that at all. It’s just that f you keep playing Russian roulette, eventually you’ll find that bullet.
Yes, people ARE going to start beating the tar out of people like that (if it hasn't already happened). Just because some people have lost the concept of self-control, doesn't mean that other people haven't gotten sick and tired of being the object of spleen, or of the kind of stupidity the flip side of which is viciousness, and won't decide "What The Hey, why should I be 'the only saint,'" and respond in kind.
YES on get a dash-cam. Someone who used to live in the town I now do and went through similar discrimination (well-documented) said several years ago get a body-cam. It's come to that.
I wonder if you haven't hit on something important there. I complain a lot about being 'declawed' in my corporate culture. If something bad happens to me, I'm supposed to report it through the correct legal e-mail contact, and they will start a 'process' to deal with it. What I am *not* supposed to do is respond proportionately. In college, when a dude said something dirty to me, I'd smack him (an immediate reaction to something I wasn't going to put up with). At work, I'm supposed to tell HR.
Are we uncivil because we're too tolerant, because we expect people *not* to stand up for themselves and to instead rely on the authorities to do it? There is a natural tension between social (not legal) expectations and experimental behavior. You cannot say that one *must* win out over the other in all cases without risking really bad outcomes.
Good fences make good neighbors, and I wish I could find the exact words and attribution of the original quote, but one of the early statesman said that the difference between DC politics and Southern politics was that Southern politics were more polite because everyone was armed.
All these new *entities* are in place to triangulate people. That’s what all the HR interference is. Bored and over educated people, mostly women, making work for themselves by inserting themselves into other people’s interactions and relationships. In this position they get to subject others to their prejudices and sadism
My husband has to navigate corporate culture at the job he's had for 25 years (with the same company, not the same job/job), and it's difficult AF sometimes because he's a autistic AF (translate that to "he's far too honest and blunt to deal with other peoples' asinine BS). So far, he's managed to get away with it (and even get two peer-nominated awards, lol), but I worry sometimes. I tell him that if they ever DO fire him, we're going to get him a formal diagnosis and sue the sh*t out of them, lolol.
My dad was autistic. He was also one of the best in his field. He found himself the target of work-sanctioned harassment by manipulators and their HR monkeys on more than one occasion.
Yes, he was abrasive, and way too honest for his own good sometimes. He wasn’t in a job that required exquisite interpersonal skills. There’s no way now for me to find out exactly what happened, but when one of the most brilliant minds in his field has trouble getting the credit and compensation for his work, I think it’s safe to say more than a little of the trouble was with his coworkers.
If anything weird happens with your husband, I love that you’ve already discussed how you’ll handle it and that you won’t put up with it. Best of luck to all of us!
I thank God you're OK, Josh. It's really getting scary. The town I live in, lets call it Libtardville, Wokeistan, is growing exponentially, and the traffic is getting crazy here, too. I take the bus to work, and I'll look over at the car in the next lane, and sho'nuff, they're glued to their phone. People don't know how to merge, they don't use turn signals. Plus, there's a rash of kids as young as 12 stealing cars and crashing them head-on. Of course, our wonderfully wacky woke mayor threw our police force under the bus during the Summer of St. Floyd, so they're stretched to their limit. Our mayor just got reelected, so the citizenry must really love it. Again, I'm sorry to hear this, and I'm very thankful that you are OK.
Apr 21, 2023·edited Apr 21, 2023Liked by Josh Slocum
Damn. Everyone drives aggressively here in the DFW Metroplex, but we're all mostly civil. I DID have a fat dude in an Explorer almost drive over me while he was avoiding a red light by cutting through the parking lot of the Chinese place. I was walking out, he wheels in and yells at ME for walking to my car...when he almost slammed into me. Called me a bitch. I was like, "I may be a bitch, but I'm NOT a lard-ass pant load who doesn't watch where I'm going...that's on you, asshole." He drove off in a huff when I laughed at him...when a woman you've wronged starts laughing at you, you're smart to run, lolol.
Yeah, I'm nuts and wouldn't recommend anyone follow my lead. I'm an extroverted and assertive woman, though not aggressive without major provocation. Scaring the shit out of me while I'm on an Asian run qualifies for pushing me to that point where I'm no longer all sunshine, smiles, and zen. I work on it, but at the same time, that reactionaryism has saved my ass more than thrice, so I'm not sure if it's a blessing or curse.
I have to wonder about the police Josh. Here in NZ they removed...'to serve the public'...or some such statement in their oath when qualifying. Ours are very much tools of the criminals in power so i suppose i have very little trust in approaching them about anything. I learnt late in life (50s) to stop taking responsibility for other peoples' journeys...its sort of complex because while we're social beings, but there are many who take no responsibility at all for actions or decisions. For me, its hard to know what to do...except I'm not going to take responsibility for arseholes...i've worked with too many female arseholes in nursing and gave that career away 10 years ago. Sorry, i've not come up with any answers.
Thank you for the phrase, "gave that career away" -- have been trying to find words for what I just did (again, "helping-profession" context). Appreciate you.
Stay home!
Sorry had to say that first... I doubt the police will do anything because there was no accident right? Even when there is they only right a report even if it's evident who is at fault. Sadly it's all about blaming others for predicaments instead of self responsibility! Not sure how to fix that!
As I wrote clearly above, I'm asking for ideas about this issue broadly. I'm not asking about what should be done to this particular woman.
Right... but with all the rhetoric back and forth these days .
Don’t stay home. The evildoers want us afraid.
I know that and sometimes get defiant. But it's a tussle, deciding.
I do, mostly.
The problem with police intervention in these cases is the public is just as aggressive towards them, if not more so, and the powers that be would punish them not the driver. A societal change is the only thing, at this point, that will work. Is that possible today? I profoundly doubt it. I do not travel in large cities very often and I will be doing so very soon on vacation. I am filled with trepidation that these types of things will happen to me, that my possessions and body will be at risk. I wish I could help brainstorm, Josh, but I just cannot see any light here.
I know. And you know what? I live in a town of 6,000. This is old New England. It's nowhere near "urban". Even Burlington next door is just a large small town.
And yet it's this dangerous here. Just to go 1.5 miles to the market.
Small towns used to have a different vibe, a different mind set prevailed. It wasn’t always positive but it was usually more responsible and respectful simply because you couldn’t hide as easily.
Oh, well, ignore my suggestion to move, then, lol. My; maybe move to a southern small town? We're near one, and it's nothing like that, even being fairly close to an interstate highway.
I'm moving out to the country (still in vermont, but it's all I can do right now. I'm not made of money) in a couple of months. That should help some. Until I have to go into town, I guess.
I pray your reflexes remain as sharp as they were today!
(Me, I would've likely walked, that distance. But with that dangerous nonsense going on -- )
Something similar happened to me last year, except I did slam in to the guy who pulled across my path - and I was going about 60mph. We both ended up in the ER, but he was in much worse shape (he survived).
I saw him start to move forward to cross the highway, but figured he'd seen me, and thought to myself, "there's no way he's gonna pull out". Before I could react he was already in my path - and BAM!
Bad assumption. Now I assume that everyone on the road is going to make the stupidest mistakes possible and I drive accordingly.
Yes, that's how my father (of blessed memory) taught me defensive driving -- don't "underestimate the stupidity."
There is a deterioration in following rules. Certain groups feel they do not need to obey any. Here it is the middle aged upper middle class woman. They drive too slow, ignore stop signs, and seemingly are only able to pay attention to one other participant in traffic and fail as soon as there are two or more.
In other areas in my state it is overweight black women that drive at least 20min es under the speed limit. No exaggeration.
In parking garages, it is people that refuse to walk an extra step and hold up other drivers because they are waiting for the perfect spot right at the entrance. Sometimes slamming on the brakes and putting in reverse without warning or paying attention when they accidentally drove by a parking spot they wanted.
Do we need more regular tests not just for vision but also test rules? More driving tests?
It's definitely women. They're much worse than men now. They're worse than most teen male drivers.
I know. And it is a combination of entitlement and the lack of skill to process more than one input at a time.
Which is weird because women's brains are supposed to be wired to BETTER handle multi-tasking (i.e., processing more than one input at a time).
Maybe the jabs are affecting the brain & all the working from home was easy to drink lunch
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Women are now more aggressive behind the wheel than men.
Don't quote your insurance stats at me. I know what I see.
Women drivers are a real problem now, even if they weren't before.
Narcissistic karenism is physically dangerous.
I agree for the most part, and they're usually in big-ass SUVs like you describe. I've noticed though that native southerners aren't as bad about it (here) as transplants. Those chicks bitch about all the things, though.
Josh, I think you have a point. I personally haven't been driving for awhile, so I am not on the road much, but I am certain that the current zeitgeist of feminist victimhood culture is creating a generation of female drivers with more general unhappiness, resentment and hostility (and I am not talking about happily married wives and mothers - that are becoming fewer in number).
My husband and I do drive a lot and it is what we are seeing.
Women feel "empowered" now. Being "butch" behind the wheel gives them a penis high. And they deserve it after all the crap they've had to endure for years! Years, I tell you!! Since like the beginning of time!!! How dare you equate the exercise of their empowerment with crappy driving. Typical male trying out your pathetic attempt to exercise the patriarchal system that seeks to keep women docile behind the wheel, barefoot and pregnant, slaving in the kitchen. How dare you??? 🤣
I hate having to drive. People are either deliberately obtuse, willfully ignorant, completely stupid, or knowingly evil when they pull the crap they do while navigating a 2000 pound killing machine. And people bitch about guns and gun violence... Ask a trucker what it's like to have to lock up their brakes when an idiot in Yugo pulls in front of them on the highway. People don't understand physics.
Maybe a campaign like what MADD does?
You're not wrong about this, by my observation. My husband and I are out driving for several hours every day. It has become a running joke between us that every time someone does something stupid while driving, we sat it is probably another woman. 9 out of 10 times, we are right. Maybe more than that, honestly. 😄
Terrifying! I am so sorry this happened to you. People are definitely driving like fools now. Probably the clot shot. I was driving on the beltway around DC a month ago. We were all going about 70. Suddenly the car to my right and slightly behind immediately swerved into my lane and took off down the beltway. Were it not for decent peripheral vision, and no car to the immediate left of me, I would probably be dead now. Now I drive very, very conservatively. I am an extremely defensive driver. I keep so much space between myself and the car in front of me that people driving with me comment. I don’t care. I want to be able to make a swift move left or right, or come to a complete stop if I need to. I’m from the south. Down there we let people in to merge. We pull over for funerals. We even signal people that there’s a cop ahead to try to keep them from getting a ticket, and to slow down. Even down there it is all falling away. Left is right, black is white, up is down. That’s the world in which we live now. Bless you and thank God you’re alive.
I hear everything you're saying.
Have you noticed now that people no longer recognize the courtesy signals from other drivers?
Example. For most of my life, it was common to flash your headlights at someone who was driving in the dark without their lights on. Almost every time I did, the other person put his lights on. At least half the time, he'd flash me back to say "thank you."
Today? It's been at least five years since I've seen anyone respond. I don't flash my lights anymore. Not a single person has turned on his headlights from me doing this in years.
What gives? Do they not know? Or, and I hate that I suspect this, are they deliberately choosing to keep their lights off so that they "win" and don't experience being "corrected" by another driver?
What could explain this: Snopes and others said this was a hoax, but I'd still have been leery. (And -- people have massively stopped saying "thank you" any more and I think that's a shame.) https://forums.anandtech.com/threads/gang-members-drive-with-no-headlights-on-and-then-kills-the-first-person-that-flashes-their-headlights-back-at-them.1701925/
Get a dash cam so that you can give footage to the police when you make a complaint.
Oh, that's good. Thank you.
Excellent advice!
Seeing a lot of dash cams out here in So Calif- an inexpensive & really good idea.
Any in particular that you recommend?
YES on dash cam!! That way, it isn't just your word vs. theirs -- there will be proof that yes, someone really WAS that outrageous and that you didn't make it up (people are shameless that way) and weren't exaggerating (part of the general "Well, I could always say that . . . " gaslighting sociopathy.
I live in Atlanta where the driving has gone from nutty to psychotic in the last 3 years. Add in bikers on crotch rockets racing on the highways non the weekend. Buy a dashcam. Set it up so that it doesn’t record sound, though. At least you will have evidence if something goes wrong.
Excellent advice!
I’ve not been cussed at, but I can’t tell you how many times in recent months people pull out of side streets or driveways WITHOUT looking! Because I am an aware driver, these have not resulted in accidents, but I would bet big money that these same people are going to be responsible for someone’s major injury or even death. It’s not been old people. It’s been mostly 30-40 year old women in large SUVs. I have no idea what is going on, but I worry that the “Mom wine” culture is moving up earlier in the day. I like your ideas and I think it all has to be done in concert to affect change.
It is women. Overwhelmingly. And in the tank sized SUVs.
Yes, I think a lot of them are drunk. Yes, I think they get away with it because they're middle class and women.
I have to say I think you're probably right. I don't know why that is, but it sounds accurate.
Civilization is a thin veneer on chaos. The defund the police movement don't know what they unlock.
I think the leaders, who egg on the others, know exactly what they're unlocking. As Patrisse Cullors of BLM said, "We're trained Marxists." Create chaos, from which people want to be rescued, then offer up the strongman leader who will do so. It's such an ancient pattern that it's described well in Polybius' Histories, from ca 100 BC: http://penelope.uchicago.edu/Thayer/E/Roman/Texts/Polybius/6*.html
Hey, this is really good reading-material. Thanks for providing it!
The first time I read it I almost cried. My husband, whose post-high-school academic education came later in life, was angry as he learned so much that he thought should have been taught routinely (and used to be). About so many things, he said, "Why didn't anybody *tell* me this?!" Though I had academic degrees earlier in life than he did, I felt the same way, as I learned the important things, most of which had never been in any of my curriculae. I learned most of it through homeschooling our son. "God works in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform."
It is normal now. My husband and I discuss this all the time. He has gotten to the point that he hates leaving the house. Quick story, not about driving but it's the same sort of thing that has become normal: On Monday I had an appointment for a windshield replacement, immediately followed by an appointment to trade in the car and pick up my new car at the dealership. The job was estimated to take 2 hours. My husband and I walked down the street to find somewhere to eat. Monday at 10am in New England in April? The only place open was McDonald's. We walked in, ordered and paid at the kiosk. We received our order without incident. But we had time to kill and my husband decided to get an order of nuggets. Back to the kiosk, ordered and paid. Fifteen minutes went by, then 20, then 30. I got a text that the car was ready. Went to the counter with the ticket and asked a 40-something female employee to refund the order because we couldn't wait any longer. Her reaction was, "What are you waiting for?" I said, at this point it doesn't matter, we have to go. She made a face and said, "Were you waiting outside?" No, I indicated our table, we were sitting right there. "What are you waiting for?" she demanded. I handed her the ticket. "Well that's why," she said with a tone of contempt, "You ordered the spicy nuggets." I just looked at her. What does that mean? "We don't have them yet, I don't why they are on the kiosk," she said, as if this concluded the matter. "We have to go, please refund the order," I said. She made a face and said something I don't remember now. I said, "We don't work here. Please refund the order." She stormed over to a register and sneered, "You don't have to be nasty!" I stared at her, trying my best to remain calm. She went on, "I am trying to EXPLAIN to you WHY and APOLOGIZE and you're being NASTY," accompanied by many ugly facial expressions. In a low voice I said, "Please. Refund. The. Order." It took another 5 minutes of her bitching at me, needing the debit card again, making me sign. So they got a ticket for a paid order for an item they didn't have, and instead of finding the party that placed the order they ignored it and went about their day. And when I had the audacity to expect not to pay for food that doesn't exist, it was my fault. 2023 America.
Jesus Christ. I totally believe it. I see this all the time. It happens to me.
I HEAR YOU. I'll admit that I've stopped going very many places either, plus limit my transactions that involve purchasing things, because I never know what is going to be out there. I'm glad I pretty much stay out of restaurants; have heard more stories LIKE this one that convince me that something weird has happened with the service-element as far as fast-food is concerned.
& it’s bad at Whole Foods too, used to be a nice place to shop. Fast” food “isn’t really food anymore…full of endocrine disrupters and plastic particles
I’m very glad you’re okay.
It certainly seems like online culture, the kind where the illusion of anonymity emboldens abusive behavior, has started bleeding into the real world, more and more. I guess this is what happens when a significant proportion of a generation is raised and socialized online. They think this is how you do things: you attack, overwhelm, slander, defame. They’re acting like we’re all just NPCs, to be either used to get what they want, or utterly destroy if they resist. It doesn’t seem to occur to them at all that we don’t magically disappear once they’re done with us, or that their actions are actually ensuring their opposition has the motivation it takes to fight them and win.
I keep trying to figure out why this gender thing appeals to women, in particular, when the ideology erases women and destroys our protections and rights. There is a type of woman that will happily throw other women under the bus for the sake of a man, or men in general. Those girls are usually attractive and young, but not all. Then there are the ones like your would be executioner behind the wheel today. Very different motivation. I suspect that, when they become involved in gender nonsense, they see it as a way to redeem themselves for the sin of not being hot. I know that sounds weird, but it’s something I’ve witnessed over and over. Fat, depressed, envious, resentful, with a big dose of self loathing in spite of the fact that they made all the choices that got them where they are now. Some overcompensate by being brash and loud, some maintain a facade of meekness.
Not what you asked, I know, lol. Just thinking out loud.
Can you install a dash cam? You could present it to law enforcement once you collected a few examples. I’ll think on what else can be done.
That woman is lucky she doesn’t live in an enthusiastically pro 2A area. I’d be scared to talk to strangers like that, especially strange men. Not that I think men are just inherently dangerous. Not implying that at all. It’s just that f you keep playing Russian roulette, eventually you’ll find that bullet.
Hug your kitties for me ❤️
Thing is, someone with less self control than me is going to break and beat the ever loving shit out of someone like this. It's going to happen.
It really is playing with fire.
Yes, people ARE going to start beating the tar out of people like that (if it hasn't already happened). Just because some people have lost the concept of self-control, doesn't mean that other people haven't gotten sick and tired of being the object of spleen, or of the kind of stupidity the flip side of which is viciousness, and won't decide "What The Hey, why should I be 'the only saint,'" and respond in kind.
YES on get a dash-cam. Someone who used to live in the town I now do and went through similar discrimination (well-documented) said several years ago get a body-cam. It's come to that.
I wonder if you haven't hit on something important there. I complain a lot about being 'declawed' in my corporate culture. If something bad happens to me, I'm supposed to report it through the correct legal e-mail contact, and they will start a 'process' to deal with it. What I am *not* supposed to do is respond proportionately. In college, when a dude said something dirty to me, I'd smack him (an immediate reaction to something I wasn't going to put up with). At work, I'm supposed to tell HR.
Are we uncivil because we're too tolerant, because we expect people *not* to stand up for themselves and to instead rely on the authorities to do it? There is a natural tension between social (not legal) expectations and experimental behavior. You cannot say that one *must* win out over the other in all cases without risking really bad outcomes.
Good fences make good neighbors, and I wish I could find the exact words and attribution of the original quote, but one of the early statesman said that the difference between DC politics and Southern politics was that Southern politics were more polite because everyone was armed.
All these new *entities* are in place to triangulate people. That’s what all the HR interference is. Bored and over educated people, mostly women, making work for themselves by inserting themselves into other people’s interactions and relationships. In this position they get to subject others to their prejudices and sadism
My husband has to navigate corporate culture at the job he's had for 25 years (with the same company, not the same job/job), and it's difficult AF sometimes because he's a autistic AF (translate that to "he's far too honest and blunt to deal with other peoples' asinine BS). So far, he's managed to get away with it (and even get two peer-nominated awards, lol), but I worry sometimes. I tell him that if they ever DO fire him, we're going to get him a formal diagnosis and sue the sh*t out of them, lolol.
Good idea, frankly.
My dad was autistic. He was also one of the best in his field. He found himself the target of work-sanctioned harassment by manipulators and their HR monkeys on more than one occasion.
Yes, he was abrasive, and way too honest for his own good sometimes. He wasn’t in a job that required exquisite interpersonal skills. There’s no way now for me to find out exactly what happened, but when one of the most brilliant minds in his field has trouble getting the credit and compensation for his work, I think it’s safe to say more than a little of the trouble was with his coworkers.
If anything weird happens with your husband, I love that you’ve already discussed how you’ll handle it and that you won’t put up with it. Best of luck to all of us!
I thank God you're OK, Josh. It's really getting scary. The town I live in, lets call it Libtardville, Wokeistan, is growing exponentially, and the traffic is getting crazy here, too. I take the bus to work, and I'll look over at the car in the next lane, and sho'nuff, they're glued to their phone. People don't know how to merge, they don't use turn signals. Plus, there's a rash of kids as young as 12 stealing cars and crashing them head-on. Of course, our wonderfully wacky woke mayor threw our police force under the bus during the Summer of St. Floyd, so they're stretched to their limit. Our mayor just got reelected, so the citizenry must really love it. Again, I'm sorry to hear this, and I'm very thankful that you are OK.
Damn. Everyone drives aggressively here in the DFW Metroplex, but we're all mostly civil. I DID have a fat dude in an Explorer almost drive over me while he was avoiding a red light by cutting through the parking lot of the Chinese place. I was walking out, he wheels in and yells at ME for walking to my car...when he almost slammed into me. Called me a bitch. I was like, "I may be a bitch, but I'm NOT a lard-ass pant load who doesn't watch where I'm going...that's on you, asshole." He drove off in a huff when I laughed at him...when a woman you've wronged starts laughing at you, you're smart to run, lolol.
What you said was hilarious and creative, but I never react out of caution. People were always unpredictable, but now they’re also on edge.
Yeah, I'm nuts and wouldn't recommend anyone follow my lead. I'm an extroverted and assertive woman, though not aggressive without major provocation. Scaring the shit out of me while I'm on an Asian run qualifies for pushing me to that point where I'm no longer all sunshine, smiles, and zen. I work on it, but at the same time, that reactionaryism has saved my ass more than thrice, so I'm not sure if it's a blessing or curse.
I'll really try to remember that: Try laughter at those who wrong me. I guess it could be disarming. Thanks for sharing.
I have to wonder about the police Josh. Here in NZ they removed...'to serve the public'...or some such statement in their oath when qualifying. Ours are very much tools of the criminals in power so i suppose i have very little trust in approaching them about anything. I learnt late in life (50s) to stop taking responsibility for other peoples' journeys...its sort of complex because while we're social beings, but there are many who take no responsibility at all for actions or decisions. For me, its hard to know what to do...except I'm not going to take responsibility for arseholes...i've worked with too many female arseholes in nursing and gave that career away 10 years ago. Sorry, i've not come up with any answers.
Thank you for the phrase, "gave that career away" -- have been trying to find words for what I just did (again, "helping-profession" context). Appreciate you.
People have lost their ever-loving minds. It’s as though they’ve lost touch w reality as their brains are slowly becoming compromised..