Those of you reading know that I'm a pattern-detector. I notice and catalog correlations and make predictions, guesses, and hypotheses about people.
Two patterns/correlations interest me most. Almost every day, I get more evidence that these correlations are correct. That does not mean that "every single X is correlated with every single Y". I am not making that claim.
It also does not necessarily mean "X causes Y without a doubt, period, no more discussion." I am also not making that claim.
I do, however, suspect some causation is likely.
These two correlations are:
-Gay men having a Borderline mother and having a narcissist/absent/weak/violent father.
I met another gay man just the other day with that correlation. There are few gay men I've met who do not fit this pattern. I'm also not the only one who notices it, though I'm one of the only people who will say it or discuss it.
-Borderline/unstable women being the core of the hard left.
Again, every day I get more evidence of this. When a lefty woman starts all-capsing at me, calling me a liar about the harm done to "trans" kids, or flat denying that public school teachers are grooming kids, I almost always find:
-Extreme emotional dysregulation. Inability to discuss concepts, all the way up to denying plain facts both of us can see. She usually goes straight to insults ("So you're a TRUMPSTER!!!???").
-Social media wall full of anti-conservative invective. Usually heavy on anti-Trump memes and claims. Lots of all caps. Stories sourced from places like Media Matters.
-Excessive numbers of pictures of her child on the social media feed. Often with mom featured heavily with a plastic/rictus grin. Not the normal "here's my lovely kiddo" photos, but a creepy "pageant" vibe.
The borderline mother correlation is really fascinating. I think you're on to something. On your podcast I think you also mentioned the correlation between gay men and BPD in general. Seems like one could hazard a guess at causation there--functional personality disorder (traits if not full-blown disorder) as a result of borderline parenting style.
Thanks for the like, recently, on my (admittedly) long comment, very few caps, sorry to hear you are getting drama. I do not get women who don't defend motherhood. I dealt with those mothers as a Kindergarten teacher. One of them sat across the table from me (vice president at Random House) and told me, "You expect me to quit my job!!" when I told her that her son says he wants a home lunch, that would make him happy and he'd try to stop punching his classmates and giving them bloody noses. (risking disciplinary action required by NYCDOE). "Jesse" was jealous, in that gentrified nabe, of the kids who come with non-gluten bread and organic peanut butter sandwiches in their Hanna Anderson cloth lunch boxes. When you are a teacher like me and you have been baking bread for your fatherless sons, making extra sandwiches for them to share in the cafeteria, because of a different kind of jealousy, you decide this lady will learn in about 10 years when the kid is 15, doesn't come home at night and they don't know where he is, despite the very up to date smart phone he's just been given. They will learn, maybe I should have packed him a lunch with a note saying, "I love you, Jesse. From Mom"
Many heterosexual men I've dated have narcissistic mothers. They were very not gay. I had to deal with criticism based on the resentment. Those relationships didn't last. My sons no longer talk to me because I refuse to call their father a woman. This has actually produced the same all caps (You TRUMPER YOU) reactions. He was a man. I met him when I was 18, young, naive, and I guess, pretty. I am really, really glad I'm with this great guy, a widower, who worked summers (teacher) and afterschool to get his daughter through college with no loans. We have that in common.
One thing I hope you will do, Josh, is be open to male and female detransitioners in the next few years. There will be an army of them. Women like me have been mostly silenced. I know several.
Be sure to take breaks from the twitter and wherever else you get the all caps. It was a 5 significant butterfly day in my garden today. Those moments are sacred.
Ute Heggen, gardener and author, In the Curated Woods