The War of the Sexes is About Something Else

This is just a short one, maybe a springboard for a longer essay.

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It's not "men."

It's not "women."

It's Cluster B personality disorders. Narcissism, histrionic emotional inflation, inchoate rage, manipulation, self-victimization.

These are personality-disorder-style behaviors, not "how men are" and "how women are."

This is just a quick and dirty generalization; it's not meant to be perfect:

To a close approximation, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is what "toxic masculinity" looks like. It's the kind of man who embodies the worst of the ways that men go bad psychologically.

To a close approximation, Borderline Personality Disorder is what "toxic femininity" looks like. It's the kind of woman who embodies the worst of the ways that women go bad psychologically.

However, that's where parity ends. Cluster B women, and Cluster B female-typical behaviors, are far more prevalent today than their male counterparts. It's not "both sides."

Leftist/Dem women are in cultural control (though it's shifting), and this is why we have a society that looks like it has Borderline Personality Disorder. It does.

No one truly knows what percentage of the population has a fully diagnosable Cluster B personality disorder. The data collection and estimation methodologies are dire, and there’s a subjective human at every single data point step. The DSM estimates in the low single digits are laughable. Some estimates that surveyed college students in a large university (forgive me I don’t have the citation to hand) found that more than 20 percent of female students qualified for a Histrionic Personality Disorder diagnosis.

There are family therapists, old-school Freudian psychoanalysts, psychiatrists, and other mental health professionals among my friends and associates. Most of them would estimate a prevalence rate of between 10 and 20 percent of the population. I’d bet on a solid 10 percent (All Cluster B subtypes combined) or higher; that’s enough to significantly change the culture when the subset is as loud and aggressive as they are.

But most people don’t have a personality disorder, yet most people behave far more narcissistically, and are far more emotionally dysregulated, than American adults were 50 years ago. We all see it; there are no “studies” necessary. It’s obvious.

Even “normal-range” people are lot “more Cluster B” than they used to be.

By quirk of fate (cough Cluster B feminism starting at the beginning, yes I mean the first wave), it is the Cluster B woman who has risen to monarchical status in our culture. And also in our laws, our business practices, and our jurisprudence. This is the age of the gorgon, the double-crossing femme-fatale, the boss bitch, and the simpering “wounded bird.” These women are dishing out legal, social, and reputational destruction at a scale never seen before.

This is not balanced. It’s not “both sides.” It’s heavily the responsibility of women, but also of a surprising number of feminized, self-hating men who act as flying monkeys for their wives, their friends, and political figures. Gay men are among the worst, but there are so many more straight men. Part of righting this ship is our responsibility, men. It starts with saying “no,” ignoring manipulative tears, and refusing to apologize for not taking emotional manipulation.

Learning that there are so many sensible, conservative/moderate/independent women who see it this way too has been a bright spot in these pretty demoralizing years. I know you’re out there because I talk to you all the time, and I see the way other women treat you. It’s often harder for you in some ways, because your “sisters” hate you with the fury that only “traitors” can provoke.

I continue to hope that we can see this for what it is, and to understand that, while this is a sexed dynamic, it's not actually a "war of the sexes." It's a war of normal people (and the naive) against people with character disorders. Serious personality pathology, not just "she's difficult."

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