The gay-ification of heterosexuality
episode 167
Readers and subscribers: I’d really like your comments on this one.
Most of the show posts don’t get many comments, so I’d really like to hear from you. You’re welcome of course to comment on anything, but I’m particularly interested in your thoughts on this question featured in the show:
Have you noticed the creeping gay-ification of heterosexuality? Have you noticed that the kind of extreme sex and hedonism that used to be largely restricted to gay kinksters is now being framed as “normal” for everyone?
Please let me know what you see, and what you think about it, below. Thanks for watching and listening!
“Gay-ification” hmm. I’m hetero through & through.
I’m also a Bible believin’ Christian, so my expectations for marriage & a husband are for a man to love me as Christ loved the church - I don’t find whips or chains to be how Christ loves me.
That being said, I can say that there is a perverseness that used to be clocked, as you’ve pointed out, with the hedonism of the gays that has now crept into even the church (we had a shirtless male pole dancer at a “male Christian conference” this past weekend!!!). You expected to see raunchy behavior & hear obscene jokes if you were around hyper-sexual men like that.
Now, I’ve had a coworker give me unsolicited anal sex advice out of the blue. Another coworker (different job) informed me of her & fiancé’s trysts that weekend which included anal for both of them. I’ve had men say to me that if they were going to date me, I’d have to give at least a little something - usually anal (that has been the huge one I’ve seen normalized. It’s so normalized that some women are shocked when I say that I will never allow it.)
Bdsm is common conversation. I’m frequently having to explain concepts to my mother, who is shocked I know them. You’re “vanilla” which is now coded with “basic, white, straight” as “boring, loveless, sexless” unless you engage in at least a little something “edgy.” You see handcuffs & whips in tv programming all the time nowadays. Riverdale had a teen girl dressing up as bdsm dom for crying out loud.
It’s sick & depraved. Normal, healthy people in healthy sexual relationships don’t have to abuse each other. The stats on regular anal sex alone… my God, it’s horrific on the human body.
I think one thing that's very different now is how mainstreamed porn has become in our culture. It's almost now something you have to work to avoid seeing as opposed to working to seek it out. Even back in the 90s, there was some level of a veil around porn. You'd have to seek it out in a magazine, watch a scrambled cable channel or at least walk through a beaded curtain. Now, it's much more pervasive in genera life. And, not just traditional "sexiness" (which certainly has its place) but the way "sex" has invaded our culture in the last 5-10 years has a ...sinister? type feel. And a shaming and recruitment feel. It also now openly despises masculinity, be it gay or straight. There's an undercurrent of vengeful female dominance and degradation of men that seems to have been standardized within sex culture and not adhering to that makes one "problematic." More than anything, it now feels like it's fully tied to a political and social agenda.