Sticks and stones
—Further to my recent posts about feminists whining about hurty words
Last night when Disaffected was airing (it was actually live for the first time), a longtime viewer put a message in the live chat. This is a close paraphrase:
”I gotta give this channel my begrudging respect for the good work. I say begrudging because I just don’t like flambuoyant gheys, sorry. But good work.”
This comment was from a viewer who has been watching almost since the beginning. I know this because he often leaves a comment on Youtube, usually just a positive emoji that signals “I like this video.”
He doesn’t like “flamboyant gheys.” That means he’s a homophobe, right? No one is allowed to not like flamboyant gays, because not liking them means you’re a VERY BAD MAN.
Right?
Is it time for me to tell everyone how wounded I am? How angry? How triggered I felt?
That’s what I would have done years ago when I was a complete emotional baby, instead of just a partial one.
To this viewer, I say: thank you. Despite the fact that my manner grates on you, you still watch the show. You give kudos to things you think are good points that we agree on. And, you’ve been doing it quietly for almost two years.
What else could a show host ask for? It’s flattering, not an insult. Even though I’m not his cup of tea in some ways, he listens anyway, and he’s nice enough to say so.
That’s something to appreciate, not something to get upset about.
He’s allowed to not like flamboyant gays (but in my own defense, there are gays a *lot* more swishy than I am). That’s taste. It’s not a moral stance. Neither you nor I have any real right to make a moral judgment about the guy’s taste in affect. 75 percent of people annoy me, after all.
This is all I’m asking from feminists. It’s not too much to ask.
To add---thank you also to the feminists who keep watching the show, even though they disagree strongly with me on some things and say so. I appreciate you, too.
Also--if you have a strong and definite personality and manner, you have to accept that you will be irritating to some people. I'm an acquired taste, as someone once said, and not everyone acquires it.
I actually know that I can be very annoying. It doesn't wound my ego to have to acknowledge that some people find me really grating. That's not an actual "wound" to me, it's not a harm, and they're not doing anything wrong. People like what they like.