Learning how to do 'family'

If you didn’t see this week’s Disaffected, my chronically ill sister had a bad case of meningitis and nearly died. She’s home now. I’ve been at her house for a week and staying a bit longer.

Full backstory in the video in this post.

My sister continues to improve slowly. She's not out of the woods, but we went shopping today. Still twice daily infusions of antibiotics into a central permanent line, lots of disinfecting, timers for medicine, etc.

And yet this has been a good week in other ways. For all of us. This is real family support without the insanity.

It's hard to explain to people who didn't live a childhood like ours, but even as a middle aged adult, it's sometimes hard to trust that "dinner will be ok." Does that look on my sister's face mean something? Did I scare her by getting irritated about something like my mother did?

When will people start screaming, and when will I have to quietly slip out and stay away for a few hours?

There's none of that. Well, there is some. My sister and I both have our mother in our voices, our faces, our mannerisms. Yes, we mini-trigger each other. Mini. And we talk about it, and then have a laugh. It's the best we can do, and it's good enough.

I want family today, at my stage of life. Part of me is also afraid of it.

Tonight I'm making her standing rib roast and mashed potatoes. We're going to make the 14-year-old watch Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, so he understand what Star Trek is.

I'll tell you what it's not, nephew: That lame ass "lower decks" cartoon.

Goan school him.