Is this real life?

just a short one

Hello readers and subscribers; thank you for being readers and subscribers.

Frenetic life circumstances have made it impossible for me to write some of the longer pieces I have simmering in my head just now. They will come.

I hope what I’m about to describe is not the case for you, but I know that it will be the case for some. If it is, I hope you’ll feel a little less alone and individually crazy.

In the past two weeks, I’ve learned of three people who have experienced something called “derealization” recently. I’m one of those three. The other two are similar to me in that they live with cPTSD. My suspicion is that some other people I’ve spoken to have also had episodes of derealization, but may not know what it is or how to describe it.

Derealization is what it sounds like. The world starts to seem unreal in a noticeable and disturbing way. It can feel like you yourself are not real, it can feel like the world around you is not real but more like a movie screen, or a projection from “another dimension.” It’s deeply unsettling, and sometimes leads to full panic attacks.

The best way I can describe it for those who have not experienced it is to ask you to imagine the feeling you get watching a sci-fi or horror movie that you’ve found genuinely creepy. Themes such as what are found in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Stepford Wives, They Live, etc. If you’ve ever had that feeling of everything being “off” and unreal and deeply uncomfortable, that’s in the neighborhood of what it feels like.

Derealization most often occurs in people who are vulnerable to it because of an underlying mood disorder, past trauma, conditions like borderline personality disorder, complex PTSD, etc. I do not know how often it happens to people who don’t have these conditions.

The world itself, I’m convinced, is responsible for this uptick in derealization (if there is one outside my limited circle and experience). We are in full psychological warfare. One day the president is “sharp as a tack.” The very next day, the same people are saying he must go immediately.

On Wednesday, everyone knows Kamala Harris is an amoral sociopath who uses word salad and strange affectations; no one likes her. The very next day, literally, everyone loves her, she’s the most qualified, she has poise and charisma, she’s inevitable.

A gunman tried to assassinate Donald Trump on live television on July 13. Within a week and a half, the “vibe” seems to be that no such murder attempt took place, nothing of historical consequence happened. Look at Newsweek:

That’s a still from my show this week (you should watch it). It’s rank gaslighting. The point is not to be “specific and accurate.” That’s only the cover story. The real motivation is to sow doubt in your mind that something important even happened. Are you sure you’re not exaggerating?

If you are prone to high anxiety and occasional derealization as I am, this has been a tough couple of weeks. At least know you’re not alone?

The reason this atmosphere is so difficult for people prone to stress states is that it reminds most of us of the psychological warfare practiced on us as children by our parents. That’s the warp and woof of Disaffected: as in the home, so in society. Our brains were formed in a psyop crucible, and some of the pathways laid down are extremely resistant to rewiring, though we all try as we can.

Feel free to use the comments section to talk about your experience with this, or your lack of experience with it. I’ll be interested in what you all have to say.

Thanks again for being here and reading what I write; I appreciate all of you.