No matter how many times I explain that complaining doesn't work where I live, and that it results in more abuse of the customer, people will not believe me.
Fine. I don't give a shit anymore.
I see I should have pinned my comment explaining this instead of deleting it. Or, maybe not. I bet that wouldn't be believed either.
Damn... I really needed to hear you lie and say you went in, and the woman broke down in tears and said she was sorry, she's been detransitioning for the past 6 months and the lady hormones now coursing through her veins have her all messed up and hostile. You then expressed concern and grace, and she came out from behind the counter and gave you a hug. Then heated up your sandwich. Including wrapping it properly.
The next couple of sentences are going to seem like a non-sequitur, but they really aren't. Did you know that when eggs come out of a free-range situation, they are sometimes encrusted with poop? And that you really shouldn't wash the poop off until just before you're ready to use the egg (otherwise you'd wash off a thin membrane that helps keep the eggs fresh)? I didn't know any of that either a year ago, but now I do, and a whole lot of other stuff about keeping chickens, things I've learned in the last year when we started to keep laying hens.
What's my point (other than talking about eggs)? My point is that most of us are disconnected from our food sources. I'm not blaming anybody, I was too, and for the most part I still am (other than eggs I still go to the grocery store to get most of my food, and anyway you have to go to a feed store to get food for the hens).
Most of us in the western world, especially those who live in cities, are entirely disconnected from the biological basis of everything we know. And it's the thing that keeps us disconnected from ourselves. That disconnection is the ultimate source of our discontent, which then drives the petty passive-aggressive behavior that Josh described, and 1000 other miseries both big and small.
Again, most people are victims of the large-scale processes that drive this. You can blame Capitalism if you're left-leaning or the WEF if you're right-leaning, but either way it's the source of most of our problems. How do we get out of this?
Anyway, sorry you had to deal with a shitty service-worker. Just think of what it must be like to be her.
Very true Josh. It is an add-on, of the victimhood, sold in the larger progressive undercoating scheme.
I also worked at McD's, red lobster and dominos along with a bevy of retail jobs in my time. Were they fun? Some were. Were they miserable? Sure, jobs that aren't a mattress tester position are, at some point. Did I realize that if I pissed off the customer - who's money indirectly paid my salary/wage - I could lose my job? You bet your ass. Back then you could easily get fired for being a sarcastic dick, as well as inattentive and just crappy at your job.
That double D worker would have been told to kick rocks on the spot, by a manager, just 15 or 20 years ago. But not now, the manager is just as bad as the worker.
We have bought this ridiculous societal undercoating package because virtue signaling feels, for the victims of the world - my lord the humanity of it all - why should they even have to work at all...oh the agony of my soul!!!
I rarely eat out, but if I were in that situation, I'd have walked back in and placed the sandwich back on the counter politely and said "cold sandwich for whoever" and walked out. I wouldn't have eaten it, because who knows what condiment they added - coochie sauce, loogie liquor??
These societal killing genies aren't going back into those bottles anytime soon, if ever.
We live in a society where responsibility and initiative are seen as a derivative of pocket depth .... that those are requirements only for those with deep pockets; everyone else just has to do the minimum, including the non-"suits" that directly manage these youngsters.
And that minimum has been defined down ... especially after 2020-2021 when many of these younger workers got used to staying home with a government check coming so they could "get by" instead of having to strive and get ahead - then when they started to go back to work, it wasn't all at once so their employers would settle for any body warmer than Josh's sandwich to fill the spot.
That being said ... this is really not new. Our society has conditioned us to this expectation since we moved off the farms and into the factories.
I didn't do fast food, but I did bus tables, pump gas (back when full-service was the norm and self-service was just getting going), and drove a bread truck in my younger days ... along with mowing lawns, baling hay, and detasseling corn. That was at the same time I was completing my education to get the engineering degree that has helped put food on my table for over 40 years.
I cringe when I hear parents say "children should focus upon their studies" .... for a real-world work environment that does not coddle them (like it seems to in some places today) is as valuable to their education as the classroom learning.
I am on a trip to see my grands in Alaska. I flew. I use to love to fly. Not anymore. The flight attendants are beginning to actually almost snarl their orders out as the do their prep of the cabin and such. I won’t go into detail but the one that got me the most was the one that was passing out the cookies. At each stop, she shouted “cookies?” , not “Would you care for a cookie?” Or something of the more friendly sort. And if she received an affirmative response, she practically threw it at them. She also did a few announcements over the intercom that were just as dictatorial and actually quite crabby sounding, like a drill Sargent, not a “helpful” flight attendant. Yeah, civility is gasping for air.
Reminds me of the flight attendant who yelled at me for preventing her from handing my credit card to another passenger. “Don’t you dare snatch that from me.” I said: “Don’t you dare hand my card to the wrong person.”
On another flight the attendant’s hair was so greasy and unkempt she looked homeless.
One time while DoorDashing, my husband was waiting outside of the pickup window when a young girl, maybe late teens or early 20s, knocked on the door. She was apparently there for an interview. The manager opened the door and asked her to wait at one of the tables because she was early and I think he might have been the only one there working. He closed the door then and she went over to the door, tried to open it, and then started banging on it as hard as she could. I think she must have been yelling something, too, but I don't remember what. The manager came back to the door and told her to leave because there was no way he was going to hire her now. My husband said he stood there gobsmacked because he'd never seen anything like that before.
Unfortunately society seems to be on a downward slope. When I consider how can that be when you think of advances in technology and invention? By all means when you consider a 1965 world we should now have a happy, productive, healthy society. Instead we have a society overwhelming with stupidity, incivility, laziness, mental and physical illness, apathy, etc. Reasons are many but leading the culprits are our education system (PreK all the way to the most advanced PHD programs), the culture from Hollywood and particularly music, lacking of proper parenting and government leaders lacking any sense of morals. I can't imagine what the world will look like in 2050. Not even sure the human race will be around.
Do you ever notice that service workers often feel undervalued and disrespected in their jobs? They often have very little control over their work environment, which can lead to high turnover rates and dissatisfaction. But hey, if you're not happy in your job, why not find something you love or consider going back to school to upgrade your skills? Taking out frustration on customers doesn't help anyone!
I've been a service worker. They do not have lives of hell. They are not specially oppressed in a way that "no one has sympathy for." I haven't missed anything.
I just watched a couple of videos made by some CEO saying he won’t hire “liberals,” leftists, etc for this reason. Their anti-capitalist oppression philosophy poisons the business.
I teach at a Progressive university where the union has them by the balls. While I agree that we “should” have what they went on strike about, it’s also likely going to result in major cuts. They can’t see past themselves and their own needs, much less think ahead towards unintended consequences.
As a teacher, I witness increasing incapacity to interact in person. In group work, they type to the person sitting next to them. I myself am so tethered to a screen, so alienated from any sense that I am a real living thing that people might actually be observing, that I have and can easily slip into incivility myself.
As for your cold sandwich, it wasn’t something to do for you, but for anyone. If it’s supposed to be warm and isn’t, it must be returned. Period. But this also brought to mind a blue state injunction to get rid of gas ovens and stoves. A restaurant owner on a podcast claimed this was the death knell of his business because electric ovens do not heat food as thoroughly. This reminded me of working in a pizza place of some great reputation in the 80s. It was bought out by a corporation who replaced the big old gas ovens with electric ovens.
I cannot even begin to describe the disaster that ensued. The pizza would be hard and cold by the time you got it to the table, even if you picked it up straight from the oven. The cheese never melted through. The pizza LOOKED weird and unappetizing.
Fortunately they were able to buy back the old ovens at a profit to the buyer.
I’m absolutely NOT excusing this behavior! No a thousand times no! But I do surmise that technology has a hand in it. How to get back to civility? In NYC we had a blackout in 2004, and that’s how I got to know my neighbors after living there three years.
It is easy to enjoy life as a Service Worker and help to foster a fun and enjoyable environment for both the workers and the customers. Been there done that as employee, manager etc... That being said, stay out of DD and stop poisoning yourself with the ingredients and the servers.
It depends on the company. For Dunkin Donuts, you are probably correct. For companies that pride themselves on customer service (Chick Fil A and Publix Supermarket come to mind), you can actually get somewhere by complaining. I had the GM from my local Publix call me back and personally apologize for the issue I experienced and also offered a refund. So it IS possible to get somewhere by complaining, it just depends on the company.
I believe you that the companies you cite, in the area where you live, are responsive.
I'm saying something that is also, by the same turn, possible for you to believe: companies in my area do not care.
I do not live where you live. I do not have the companies you have. I am telling you the truth about where I live. I have not "forgotten" to try things. I have not "unnecessarily given up." I am correct and telling the truth.
I think some companies are trying to fill that space: intentional customer service.
The young woman at a Whataburger in Gulfport, MS introduced herself before taking my husband’s order, said she’d be helping us, then came to the table to check on him.
This had the air of something she’d been catechized, but she was nevertheless not in the least fake about it.
Had similar good experience at a Five Guys in Virginia. (I don’t eat fast food so my window into that world is when we’re traveling.)
Regional chains where the cleanliness and friendliness are paramount are Mighty Fine Burgers and P.Terry’s and Rudy’s BBQ.
I can also recommend, because I do like donuts, at least a couple times a year - Gibson’s Donuts in Memphis. Another very friendly stop!
They will throw a donut at you, though.
If it’s your first time, that is - as it was ours - and you catch it, it’s free. Even if you tell them that you live a thousand miles away and your first time is probably your last.
If you miss they keep throwing.
They have a signed Stan Musial jersey on the wall.
No matter how many times I explain that complaining doesn't work where I live, and that it results in more abuse of the customer, people will not believe me.
Fine. I don't give a shit anymore.
I see I should have pinned my comment explaining this instead of deleting it. Or, maybe not. I bet that wouldn't be believed either.
Don't do that. You said it through implication, and I'm not making that up. I'm not screaming at you or yelling, but man, please don't.
No. Had I allowed myself to go back in there I would have lost my composure in a way that didn't serve my interests.
Damn... I really needed to hear you lie and say you went in, and the woman broke down in tears and said she was sorry, she's been detransitioning for the past 6 months and the lady hormones now coursing through her veins have her all messed up and hostile. You then expressed concern and grace, and she came out from behind the counter and gave you a hug. Then heated up your sandwich. Including wrapping it properly.
I hate that they are angry at the customers for their job.
I’d have gone back in and twisted her little nose right off her angry face. You, sir, are a beacon of civility and restraint.
Walk past them and use their equipment to reheat it whilst making direct eye contact and saying nothing.
YESSSSS.
Best answer
The next couple of sentences are going to seem like a non-sequitur, but they really aren't. Did you know that when eggs come out of a free-range situation, they are sometimes encrusted with poop? And that you really shouldn't wash the poop off until just before you're ready to use the egg (otherwise you'd wash off a thin membrane that helps keep the eggs fresh)? I didn't know any of that either a year ago, but now I do, and a whole lot of other stuff about keeping chickens, things I've learned in the last year when we started to keep laying hens.
What's my point (other than talking about eggs)? My point is that most of us are disconnected from our food sources. I'm not blaming anybody, I was too, and for the most part I still am (other than eggs I still go to the grocery store to get most of my food, and anyway you have to go to a feed store to get food for the hens).
Most of us in the western world, especially those who live in cities, are entirely disconnected from the biological basis of everything we know. And it's the thing that keeps us disconnected from ourselves. That disconnection is the ultimate source of our discontent, which then drives the petty passive-aggressive behavior that Josh described, and 1000 other miseries both big and small.
Again, most people are victims of the large-scale processes that drive this. You can blame Capitalism if you're left-leaning or the WEF if you're right-leaning, but either way it's the source of most of our problems. How do we get out of this?
Anyway, sorry you had to deal with a shitty service-worker. Just think of what it must be like to be her.
No. She didn't think of what it was like to be me---a polite customer who did nothing to her.
I've been a food service worker. Her life is not hell. That's imaginary.
Very true Josh. It is an add-on, of the victimhood, sold in the larger progressive undercoating scheme.
I also worked at McD's, red lobster and dominos along with a bevy of retail jobs in my time. Were they fun? Some were. Were they miserable? Sure, jobs that aren't a mattress tester position are, at some point. Did I realize that if I pissed off the customer - who's money indirectly paid my salary/wage - I could lose my job? You bet your ass. Back then you could easily get fired for being a sarcastic dick, as well as inattentive and just crappy at your job.
That double D worker would have been told to kick rocks on the spot, by a manager, just 15 or 20 years ago. But not now, the manager is just as bad as the worker.
We have bought this ridiculous societal undercoating package because virtue signaling feels, for the victims of the world - my lord the humanity of it all - why should they even have to work at all...oh the agony of my soul!!!
I rarely eat out, but if I were in that situation, I'd have walked back in and placed the sandwich back on the counter politely and said "cold sandwich for whoever" and walked out. I wouldn't have eaten it, because who knows what condiment they added - coochie sauce, loogie liquor??
These societal killing genies aren't going back into those bottles anytime soon, if ever.
We live in a society where responsibility and initiative are seen as a derivative of pocket depth .... that those are requirements only for those with deep pockets; everyone else just has to do the minimum, including the non-"suits" that directly manage these youngsters.
And that minimum has been defined down ... especially after 2020-2021 when many of these younger workers got used to staying home with a government check coming so they could "get by" instead of having to strive and get ahead - then when they started to go back to work, it wasn't all at once so their employers would settle for any body warmer than Josh's sandwich to fill the spot.
That being said ... this is really not new. Our society has conditioned us to this expectation since we moved off the farms and into the factories.
https://thenayborhood.substack.com/p/cutting-to-the-chase
I didn't do fast food, but I did bus tables, pump gas (back when full-service was the norm and self-service was just getting going), and drove a bread truck in my younger days ... along with mowing lawns, baling hay, and detasseling corn. That was at the same time I was completing my education to get the engineering degree that has helped put food on my table for over 40 years.
I cringe when I hear parents say "children should focus upon their studies" .... for a real-world work environment that does not coddle them (like it seems to in some places today) is as valuable to their education as the classroom learning.
No effin' way I'd have walked out without getting a refund.
I am on a trip to see my grands in Alaska. I flew. I use to love to fly. Not anymore. The flight attendants are beginning to actually almost snarl their orders out as the do their prep of the cabin and such. I won’t go into detail but the one that got me the most was the one that was passing out the cookies. At each stop, she shouted “cookies?” , not “Would you care for a cookie?” Or something of the more friendly sort. And if she received an affirmative response, she practically threw it at them. She also did a few announcements over the intercom that were just as dictatorial and actually quite crabby sounding, like a drill Sargent, not a “helpful” flight attendant. Yeah, civility is gasping for air.
It's of a piece with all the societal reversals and inversions---we, the paying customers, now serve staff. They are literally our bosses.
All reversed.
Reminds me of the flight attendant who yelled at me for preventing her from handing my credit card to another passenger. “Don’t you dare snatch that from me.” I said: “Don’t you dare hand my card to the wrong person.”
On another flight the attendant’s hair was so greasy and unkempt she looked homeless.
One time while DoorDashing, my husband was waiting outside of the pickup window when a young girl, maybe late teens or early 20s, knocked on the door. She was apparently there for an interview. The manager opened the door and asked her to wait at one of the tables because she was early and I think he might have been the only one there working. He closed the door then and she went over to the door, tried to open it, and then started banging on it as hard as she could. I think she must have been yelling something, too, but I don't remember what. The manager came back to the door and told her to leave because there was no way he was going to hire her now. My husband said he stood there gobsmacked because he'd never seen anything like that before.
Unreal.
I have had a similarly bad experience with our local SPCA, while trying to adopt a cat. So it's not just in retail that these attitudes exist.
Unfortunately society seems to be on a downward slope. When I consider how can that be when you think of advances in technology and invention? By all means when you consider a 1965 world we should now have a happy, productive, healthy society. Instead we have a society overwhelming with stupidity, incivility, laziness, mental and physical illness, apathy, etc. Reasons are many but leading the culprits are our education system (PreK all the way to the most advanced PHD programs), the culture from Hollywood and particularly music, lacking of proper parenting and government leaders lacking any sense of morals. I can't imagine what the world will look like in 2050. Not even sure the human race will be around.
Not a fussy jerk this time.
I will give you my fully honest take on the issue of “fussy jerk“ as it relates to you.
Sometimes you do take on a bit of a vibe of a fussy jerk. But it is easy to forgive because I do the same thing.
But you were not a fussy jerk this time.
Do you ever notice that service workers often feel undervalued and disrespected in their jobs? They often have very little control over their work environment, which can lead to high turnover rates and dissatisfaction. But hey, if you're not happy in your job, why not find something you love or consider going back to school to upgrade your skills? Taking out frustration on customers doesn't help anyone!
I've been a service worker. They do not have lives of hell. They are not specially oppressed in a way that "no one has sympathy for." I haven't missed anything.
I have not expected anything unreasonable.
Did you resist throwing it at her?
I think this is less likely to be true in the South.
I just watched a couple of videos made by some CEO saying he won’t hire “liberals,” leftists, etc for this reason. Their anti-capitalist oppression philosophy poisons the business.
I teach at a Progressive university where the union has them by the balls. While I agree that we “should” have what they went on strike about, it’s also likely going to result in major cuts. They can’t see past themselves and their own needs, much less think ahead towards unintended consequences.
As a teacher, I witness increasing incapacity to interact in person. In group work, they type to the person sitting next to them. I myself am so tethered to a screen, so alienated from any sense that I am a real living thing that people might actually be observing, that I have and can easily slip into incivility myself.
As for your cold sandwich, it wasn’t something to do for you, but for anyone. If it’s supposed to be warm and isn’t, it must be returned. Period. But this also brought to mind a blue state injunction to get rid of gas ovens and stoves. A restaurant owner on a podcast claimed this was the death knell of his business because electric ovens do not heat food as thoroughly. This reminded me of working in a pizza place of some great reputation in the 80s. It was bought out by a corporation who replaced the big old gas ovens with electric ovens.
I cannot even begin to describe the disaster that ensued. The pizza would be hard and cold by the time you got it to the table, even if you picked it up straight from the oven. The cheese never melted through. The pizza LOOKED weird and unappetizing.
Fortunately they were able to buy back the old ovens at a profit to the buyer.
I’m absolutely NOT excusing this behavior! No a thousand times no! But I do surmise that technology has a hand in it. How to get back to civility? In NYC we had a blackout in 2004, and that’s how I got to know my neighbors after living there three years.
It is easy to enjoy life as a Service Worker and help to foster a fun and enjoyable environment for both the workers and the customers. Been there done that as employee, manager etc... That being said, stay out of DD and stop poisoning yourself with the ingredients and the servers.
Please tell me you at least posting a comment on Google Maps? The owner of the franchise needs to know the workers he hired are rude.
No one cares. There's zero point in objecting. Owners don't care. Staff don't care. Companies don't care.
I'm not above complaining to management. I don't care if you call me "Karen". Management needs to know when their employees are shit.
They don't care. There's no point. They literally don't care anymore.
This is not 1995.
It depends on the company. For Dunkin Donuts, you are probably correct. For companies that pride themselves on customer service (Chick Fil A and Publix Supermarket come to mind), you can actually get somewhere by complaining. I had the GM from my local Publix call me back and personally apologize for the issue I experienced and also offered a refund. So it IS possible to get somewhere by complaining, it just depends on the company.
No company where I live cares. None of them.
I believe you that the companies you cite, in the area where you live, are responsive.
I'm saying something that is also, by the same turn, possible for you to believe: companies in my area do not care.
I do not live where you live. I do not have the companies you have. I am telling you the truth about where I live. I have not "forgotten" to try things. I have not "unnecessarily given up." I am correct and telling the truth.
I think some companies are trying to fill that space: intentional customer service.
The young woman at a Whataburger in Gulfport, MS introduced herself before taking my husband’s order, said she’d be helping us, then came to the table to check on him.
This had the air of something she’d been catechized, but she was nevertheless not in the least fake about it.
Had similar good experience at a Five Guys in Virginia. (I don’t eat fast food so my window into that world is when we’re traveling.)
Regional chains where the cleanliness and friendliness are paramount are Mighty Fine Burgers and P.Terry’s and Rudy’s BBQ.
I can also recommend, because I do like donuts, at least a couple times a year - Gibson’s Donuts in Memphis. Another very friendly stop!
They will throw a donut at you, though.
If it’s your first time, that is - as it was ours - and you catch it, it’s free. Even if you tell them that you live a thousand miles away and your first time is probably your last.
If you miss they keep throwing.
They have a signed Stan Musial jersey on the wall.