Maybe I'm cynical, but it seems rare to me for people who lived good lives to also have good deaths, and yet she did. Surrounded by loved ones and free from pain--we should all deserve, and receive, such an ending. You did well by your friend. ❤️❤️❤️
I am so glad you had her in your life. You deserved someone that generous and caring after all you went through in your childhood. May she rest in peace.
You've written a beautiful memorial to your friend and mentor. I would like to have known her. People like her make such a lasting and formidable difference in the lives of so many, and were it not for her, perhaps the trajectory of your own life might never have led you to all of us to whom you affect positively with your knowledge and experience.
I knew Lisa but only in her professional capacity as a funeral consumer advocate. She was articulate and sincere. Nobody could accuse her of being just a "hired gun." We met only at industry hearings at places such the Federal Trade Commission and AARP headquarters in Washington, D.C. She once commented that her apparent hostility to industry people was simply a reaction to how they treated her. I understood and wanted Lisa to understand that I wasn't like that. We got along just fine. There were no warm fuzzies but she knew that I respected her and she seemed to return the compliment. The last time I saw her was at an AARP symposium at its DC headquarters. It was billed as the "first annual" but there were no subsequent meetings. Most of the audience did not know the various spokespersons from our respective organizations. I recall that Lisa gave a good presentation that reflected well on her organization. But then for some reason she felt she had to conclude with one of her trademark dirty jokes. Given that most of the audience knew nothing about her, the humor did not go over well. That meeting was the last time I saw her and after a while I heard that she had left her organization. Lisa believed in her work and meant every word of what she said. Her approach wasn't subtle but whoever said that consumer advocacy had to be subtle? Rest in Peace, Lisa.
I haven’t worked in the field of death and the dying, but I do have a little experience, just from being primary caregiver for both parents when they were at that point. Humor is extremely important for everyone close to the dying person, and the dying person themselves. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to try to just be brave, or tragic, or whatever, without ever lightening the mood.
The only death related jokes I’ve got require either visuals or cultural references for most of them. The only one that comes to mind right now that doesn’t involves “mourning wood” and I haven’t found many receptive audiences for that one (never mind that it’s a real thing that happens to some people, lol).
Once I figure out where I’m going to move, I plan on finding some training on end of life caregiving. “Death Doula” stuff, but I dunno if there’s still controversy about that term. Anyway, everyone deserves to have emotional support and someone who is willing to talk straight to them. I have the temperament but I don’t know all the legal stuff, and I need to get insight from people that have been doing it in regards to what to expect from the families of the dying etc. This has been on my mind lately already. Your announcement just reminded me again.
I’m sorry for your loss, Josh. Lisa sounds like someone I would have liked to know. Thank you for highlighting her life and her accomplishments. I admire you both.
I don't know how Liberty is now, but when I worked in Lburg they were still sending older kids to the theaters to make sure no one was watching R-rated films.
Justine, if you ever want to talk about the death doula stuff, send me an email. I have some inside information you would find helpful to know as you think about it.
So great that you had a strong female role model in your life. My mom was not a horrible person, but I think she may have personality disorder or high functioning autism. She was never able to connect with me or regard me as an individual that she had a genuine interest in.
Maybe I'm cynical, but it seems rare to me for people who lived good lives to also have good deaths, and yet she did. Surrounded by loved ones and free from pain--we should all deserve, and receive, such an ending. You did well by your friend. ❤️❤️❤️
I am so glad you had her in your life. You deserved someone that generous and caring after all you went through in your childhood. May she rest in peace.
You've written a beautiful memorial to your friend and mentor. I would like to have known her. People like her make such a lasting and formidable difference in the lives of so many, and were it not for her, perhaps the trajectory of your own life might never have led you to all of us to whom you affect positively with your knowledge and experience.
I knew Lisa but only in her professional capacity as a funeral consumer advocate. She was articulate and sincere. Nobody could accuse her of being just a "hired gun." We met only at industry hearings at places such the Federal Trade Commission and AARP headquarters in Washington, D.C. She once commented that her apparent hostility to industry people was simply a reaction to how they treated her. I understood and wanted Lisa to understand that I wasn't like that. We got along just fine. There were no warm fuzzies but she knew that I respected her and she seemed to return the compliment. The last time I saw her was at an AARP symposium at its DC headquarters. It was billed as the "first annual" but there were no subsequent meetings. Most of the audience did not know the various spokespersons from our respective organizations. I recall that Lisa gave a good presentation that reflected well on her organization. But then for some reason she felt she had to conclude with one of her trademark dirty jokes. Given that most of the audience knew nothing about her, the humor did not go over well. That meeting was the last time I saw her and after a while I heard that she had left her organization. Lisa believed in her work and meant every word of what she said. Her approach wasn't subtle but whoever said that consumer advocacy had to be subtle? Rest in Peace, Lisa.
Thank you, Bob.
This is lovely. She sounds like she was a truth teller and a wonderful friend.
I haven’t worked in the field of death and the dying, but I do have a little experience, just from being primary caregiver for both parents when they were at that point. Humor is extremely important for everyone close to the dying person, and the dying person themselves. I can’t imagine how awful it would be to try to just be brave, or tragic, or whatever, without ever lightening the mood.
The only death related jokes I’ve got require either visuals or cultural references for most of them. The only one that comes to mind right now that doesn’t involves “mourning wood” and I haven’t found many receptive audiences for that one (never mind that it’s a real thing that happens to some people, lol).
Once I figure out where I’m going to move, I plan on finding some training on end of life caregiving. “Death Doula” stuff, but I dunno if there’s still controversy about that term. Anyway, everyone deserves to have emotional support and someone who is willing to talk straight to them. I have the temperament but I don’t know all the legal stuff, and I need to get insight from people that have been doing it in regards to what to expect from the families of the dying etc. This has been on my mind lately already. Your announcement just reminded me again.
I’m sorry for your loss, Josh. Lisa sounds like someone I would have liked to know. Thank you for highlighting her life and her accomplishments. I admire you both.
MOURNING WOOD OH MY GOD
Lisa would die a second time of hysterical laughter over that. I'm going to tell her husband TODAY that he better get new Mourning Wood!
Ha! I thought sure you would have already come up with that yourself!
Also, you lived in Lynchburg? My condolences. I attended Falwell’s church as a kid.
I don't know how Liberty is now, but when I worked in Lburg they were still sending older kids to the theaters to make sure no one was watching R-rated films.
I believe it. One of my fundie relatives was a professor there. I told my mother I’d go no contact with her before I’d attend Liberty.
Justine, if you ever want to talk about the death doula stuff, send me an email. I have some inside information you would find helpful to know as you think about it.
Thank you! You will absolutely be hearing from me! Much appreciated :)
How beautiful.
Very moving Josh. Lisa sounds like a very worthwhile friend to have had. I hope you’re doing alright.
So great that you had a strong female role model in your life. My mom was not a horrible person, but I think she may have personality disorder or high functioning autism. She was never able to connect with me or regard me as an individual that she had a genuine interest in.