Oh wow, my mother, who was diagnosed as bipolar, absolutely had borderline personality disorder. She wasn't as extreme as your mother, but she was manipulative, histrionic, man-hating and I don't believe she was able to love anyone, including her children. She had a mean streak that was passive-aggressive and she would gladly let her kids take the rap when our father (who was a bit of a narcissist himself) was on one of his rampages. I also cut off contact with my mother, and took a lot of heat for it, but I needed to protect myself. I wrote a story on my Substack called Wallpaper that tells one of the stories that you might recognize. https://grandmammadonna.substack.com
I think you and Holly and I could all be great friends. I sense kindred spirits.
“Don’t you dare cry.” “Get in your room” (while she blocks the way with either a shoe or a wooden spoon in hand and you calculate which end run will get you past her with the least damage).
Or pretending to be on your side, and like a sap you fall for it because you believe that THIS TIME she means it…only to have her turn on you when your Dad got home.
Excellent presentation Josh. You nailed it as usual. We can't all avoid borderlines so it is really important to recognise them. I have a few rules of thumb for dealing with borderline types. Don't delude yourself you are giving them a loan. It's a gift because you won't get the money back. Don't rely on them keeping promises. They live in the moment so plans and agreements are meaningless to them. Give them time, money and emotion if you really have it to spare, but just know they view you as a machine for getting what they want. Nothing you do for them exists once it's done.
People with C-PTSD will screen as BPD. So will people suffering from narcissistic abuse.
I know there’s a lot of debate about how many people diagnosed with BPD actually have CPTSD. That might explain where the idea that people age out of it comes from.
Because it’s not as though a Borderline is granted a sense of self for their 40th birthday. That hole will be there forever.
Thank you.
Thank you, Distinguished Headmaster at Joshua Slocum’s Finishing School
Oh wow, my mother, who was diagnosed as bipolar, absolutely had borderline personality disorder. She wasn't as extreme as your mother, but she was manipulative, histrionic, man-hating and I don't believe she was able to love anyone, including her children. She had a mean streak that was passive-aggressive and she would gladly let her kids take the rap when our father (who was a bit of a narcissist himself) was on one of his rampages. I also cut off contact with my mother, and took a lot of heat for it, but I needed to protect myself. I wrote a story on my Substack called Wallpaper that tells one of the stories that you might recognize. https://grandmammadonna.substack.com
See? Not "bipolar" (manic depression).
Cluster B personality disorder.
I think you and Holly and I could all be great friends. I sense kindred spirits.
“Don’t you dare cry.” “Get in your room” (while she blocks the way with either a shoe or a wooden spoon in hand and you calculate which end run will get you past her with the least damage).
Or pretending to be on your side, and like a sap you fall for it because you believe that THIS TIME she means it…only to have her turn on you when your Dad got home.
Donna
Excellent presentation Josh. You nailed it as usual. We can't all avoid borderlines so it is really important to recognise them. I have a few rules of thumb for dealing with borderline types. Don't delude yourself you are giving them a loan. It's a gift because you won't get the money back. Don't rely on them keeping promises. They live in the moment so plans and agreements are meaningless to them. Give them time, money and emotion if you really have it to spare, but just know they view you as a machine for getting what they want. Nothing you do for them exists once it's done.
People with C-PTSD will screen as BPD. So will people suffering from narcissistic abuse.
I know there’s a lot of debate about how many people diagnosed with BPD actually have CPTSD. That might explain where the idea that people age out of it comes from.
Because it’s not as though a Borderline is granted a sense of self for their 40th birthday. That hole will be there forever.