Wow Josh. The most tender and aching tribute to the love in your life. I had goosebumps all the way through that. Your self-awareness and humour are a treasure for us all now. Thankyou ❤️
Actually I think it looks cool. Your grandmother was the woman your mother could never be and your mother knew it. And as we see now people often mock what so desperately they will never be.
I don’t know what this says about me, but I genuinely think the oil lamp is beautiful.
But I could not own one because it is obviously too fragile.
Supposedly there is no such officially classified phobia as fragiliphobia, but I am definitely afraid of fragile things; afraid of them being too easily accidentally broken. (Watching that video of you with your Colorado friend was very uncomfortable because of those shelves behind you full of breakable items.)
That brings me to the issue of fragile human emotions. I have no issue with people displaying mawkishness. It is only specifically being exposed to negative emotions or other forms of negativity that causes me to feel emotionally assaulted. I have only discovered very late in life that I am unusually sensitive to negativity from others unless it is about something that I dislike. Even then, I feel some discomfort with the negativity.
(My delayed understanding of various emotions that I have had all my life is the result of undiagnosed alexithymia.)
It is beautiful how your grandmother’s modest but enchanting gift of so long ago inspired a satisfying hobby of collecting, rehabbing, displaying, using, and advocating for the beauty and utility of oil lamps.
Tokens of love received when we are young can imprint deeply, and color the comfort nest we select to surround ourselves with.
I think that you should look for those same oil lamps everywhere you go, antique stores, flea markets, etc. Along the way you will find things that remind you of your grandmother's gift to you. What you find might not be the exact same thing that she gave you, but if it gives you that wam fuzzy feeling, it's worth having.
The lamp is actually lovely. I wouldn't mind having one like that, myself, and I'd light it on weekend evenings. I, too, had a very special grandmother, whose house, a block down the street from my family's, was a refuge of cheerful kindness whenever things got to be a bit too much at home.
There are two books I recommend for different reasons.
The first is Steven Millhauser's story collection, "The Barnum Museum." Millhauser's imagination is astonishing. He's a magical realist. And he loves curio shops.
The second is William Alexander Percy's memoir, "Lanterns on the Levee." He was a distant cousin of Walker Percy's and Walker's two brothers, and after their parents' deaths, they went to live with him. The book is extremely dated, and I lament the man's secularism, but the final chapter, in which Percy recounts his stroll through the town graveyard and gives the reader one phrase biographies of its residents and their very hard lives, is one of the most moving things I've ever read.
I have multiple chemical sensitivities, not as harshly as I did forty years ago, but my system still reacts badly to heavy perfumes. I have noticed that these perfumes tend to be worn by working class or outright poor, usually not young or attractive, women, and my dread of a reaction to a perfume which I fear I'll have over the next few hours, and my inclination to anger about it, is tempered by my awareness that these women, who are not winners by societal standards ( as if I am ), have very little in life which can give them pleasure. And I remember that Jesus has a particular tenderness for such people.
Anyone who is a Tucker Carlson or Joe Rogan fan might enjoy the three hour long podcast in which Rogan interviews Carlson. Whatever you may think of Tucker Carlson politically, the man has a sharp awareness of the existence of evil.
There is a remarkable Substack, Welcome to Absurdistan, which is written by a woman named Elizabeth Nickson. Today's edition is about JLo, PDiddy, Justin Timberlake, and assorted other horrors, and it all goes back to Elizabeth Nickson's certainty that Hollywood might more accurately be called Pedowood ( my term ). In the comments section, one of the commenters wrote about the presence of pedophilic symbols in Disney films as far back as Pinocchio, in the early 1940s. I doubted this, did some research, and oh my God, it's true.
You might find the above interview that Carlson did with Bryan Johnson interesting. Your remark on Carlson's awareness of the existence of evil is born out in the interview.
Johnson got rich relatively young; he's smart, and he has decided to push the boundaries of living for as long as possible. He's a biohacker trying to crack the code of living forever. His mantra is "don't die". How and why he's pursuing this makes for a very interesting interview.
Thank you. I saw it. How sad! He reminded me of a feature story I saw on NBC Nightly News nearly thirty years ago. It was about a biohacker of that day. There was a long shot of the family at dinner in their home. The man sat there, stoking his mouth with forkfuls of arugula, broccoli, bird feed, God knows what.
In the interview, he admitted he'd lost his sex drive, but he thought it was worth it if he could live forever. The kids at the dinner table looked sad. The wife looked much sadder.
Loved this as much the second time I read it as I did the first. Thank you for sharing something that triggered the wonderful memories I have of my grandmother and her two sisters, all of whom lived close enough for my siblings and I to spend many hours in their company. I miss them.
Agree with your sentiment. Children live things like you did, like I did, cause they live the giver and know that "thing" was special to them. It's sad that as we become older we look at it differently for it's monetary value not it's "worth" to us.
Many of our emotions are driven by a need to protect our own identities: envy, pride, shame, anger... because they're private and (by definition) selfish they often get a bad rep but this isn't always earned.
There are other emotions which are driven by our membership in a group of people and gain strength from the massive value that belonging entails (to normal people). Those are some of the most sublime emotions we have: patriotism, empathy, group hilarity, self-sacrificial courage, the urge to behave selflessly in an an emergency (although they can become incredibly dark and deranged when applied to fear or violence). I think the feeling you describe is one of the second group of emotions: it feels profound, and pure because it IS pure. It is a specific instance of deep care for other people (as individuals and as a class) and an expression of true empathy. It feels so strangely impactful because it is bringing you completely outside of yourself and that is a rare experience these days. It wasn't always so.
Lovely article. I hope I will be even 1/5th of the grandfather my grandma was to me. I fear though that I'll never be able to be so selfless. Also a good time to remind folks that Grandma's Hands by Bill Withers is one of the most beautiful song ever made.
Thanks Josh Slocum. You just made me cry. But in a nice way. Lots of love to you from Northampton, England.
Beautifully heartbreaking.
Wow Josh. The most tender and aching tribute to the love in your life. I had goosebumps all the way through that. Your self-awareness and humour are a treasure for us all now. Thankyou ❤️
Actually I think it looks cool. Your grandmother was the woman your mother could never be and your mother knew it. And as we see now people often mock what so desperately they will never be.
I don’t know what this says about me, but I genuinely think the oil lamp is beautiful.
But I could not own one because it is obviously too fragile.
Supposedly there is no such officially classified phobia as fragiliphobia, but I am definitely afraid of fragile things; afraid of them being too easily accidentally broken. (Watching that video of you with your Colorado friend was very uncomfortable because of those shelves behind you full of breakable items.)
That brings me to the issue of fragile human emotions. I have no issue with people displaying mawkishness. It is only specifically being exposed to negative emotions or other forms of negativity that causes me to feel emotionally assaulted. I have only discovered very late in life that I am unusually sensitive to negativity from others unless it is about something that I dislike. Even then, I feel some discomfort with the negativity.
(My delayed understanding of various emotions that I have had all my life is the result of undiagnosed alexithymia.)
It is beautiful how your grandmother’s modest but enchanting gift of so long ago inspired a satisfying hobby of collecting, rehabbing, displaying, using, and advocating for the beauty and utility of oil lamps.
Tokens of love received when we are young can imprint deeply, and color the comfort nest we select to surround ourselves with.
I think that you should look for those same oil lamps everywhere you go, antique stores, flea markets, etc. Along the way you will find things that remind you of your grandmother's gift to you. What you find might not be the exact same thing that she gave you, but if it gives you that wam fuzzy feeling, it's worth having.
The lamp is actually lovely. I wouldn't mind having one like that, myself, and I'd light it on weekend evenings. I, too, had a very special grandmother, whose house, a block down the street from my family's, was a refuge of cheerful kindness whenever things got to be a bit too much at home.
Thanks for reposting this one. It touches my heart because I had a grandmother who collected such things and I miss her to this day.
There are two books I recommend for different reasons.
The first is Steven Millhauser's story collection, "The Barnum Museum." Millhauser's imagination is astonishing. He's a magical realist. And he loves curio shops.
The second is William Alexander Percy's memoir, "Lanterns on the Levee." He was a distant cousin of Walker Percy's and Walker's two brothers, and after their parents' deaths, they went to live with him. The book is extremely dated, and I lament the man's secularism, but the final chapter, in which Percy recounts his stroll through the town graveyard and gives the reader one phrase biographies of its residents and their very hard lives, is one of the most moving things I've ever read.
I have multiple chemical sensitivities, not as harshly as I did forty years ago, but my system still reacts badly to heavy perfumes. I have noticed that these perfumes tend to be worn by working class or outright poor, usually not young or attractive, women, and my dread of a reaction to a perfume which I fear I'll have over the next few hours, and my inclination to anger about it, is tempered by my awareness that these women, who are not winners by societal standards ( as if I am ), have very little in life which can give them pleasure. And I remember that Jesus has a particular tenderness for such people.
Anyone who is a Tucker Carlson or Joe Rogan fan might enjoy the three hour long podcast in which Rogan interviews Carlson. Whatever you may think of Tucker Carlson politically, the man has a sharp awareness of the existence of evil.
There is a remarkable Substack, Welcome to Absurdistan, which is written by a woman named Elizabeth Nickson. Today's edition is about JLo, PDiddy, Justin Timberlake, and assorted other horrors, and it all goes back to Elizabeth Nickson's certainty that Hollywood might more accurately be called Pedowood ( my term ). In the comments section, one of the commenters wrote about the presence of pedophilic symbols in Disney films as far back as Pinocchio, in the early 1940s. I doubted this, did some research, and oh my God, it's true.
https://youtu.be/gr4E0jEjQMM?si=LitHPBb4IwVMrAl9
You might find the above interview that Carlson did with Bryan Johnson interesting. Your remark on Carlson's awareness of the existence of evil is born out in the interview.
Johnson got rich relatively young; he's smart, and he has decided to push the boundaries of living for as long as possible. He's a biohacker trying to crack the code of living forever. His mantra is "don't die". How and why he's pursuing this makes for a very interesting interview.
Thank you. I saw it. How sad! He reminded me of a feature story I saw on NBC Nightly News nearly thirty years ago. It was about a biohacker of that day. There was a long shot of the family at dinner in their home. The man sat there, stoking his mouth with forkfuls of arugula, broccoli, bird feed, God knows what.
In the interview, he admitted he'd lost his sex drive, but he thought it was worth it if he could live forever. The kids at the dinner table looked sad. The wife looked much sadder.
Loved this as much the second time I read it as I did the first. Thank you for sharing something that triggered the wonderful memories I have of my grandmother and her two sisters, all of whom lived close enough for my siblings and I to spend many hours in their company. I miss them.
I’m sorry you lost your grandmother’s treasures.
"Hatred of the good for being the good."
Agree with your sentiment. Children live things like you did, like I did, cause they live the giver and know that "thing" was special to them. It's sad that as we become older we look at it differently for it's monetary value not it's "worth" to us.
Many of our emotions are driven by a need to protect our own identities: envy, pride, shame, anger... because they're private and (by definition) selfish they often get a bad rep but this isn't always earned.
There are other emotions which are driven by our membership in a group of people and gain strength from the massive value that belonging entails (to normal people). Those are some of the most sublime emotions we have: patriotism, empathy, group hilarity, self-sacrificial courage, the urge to behave selflessly in an an emergency (although they can become incredibly dark and deranged when applied to fear or violence). I think the feeling you describe is one of the second group of emotions: it feels profound, and pure because it IS pure. It is a specific instance of deep care for other people (as individuals and as a class) and an expression of true empathy. It feels so strangely impactful because it is bringing you completely outside of yourself and that is a rare experience these days. It wasn't always so.
Lovely article. I hope I will be even 1/5th of the grandfather my grandma was to me. I fear though that I'll never be able to be so selfless. Also a good time to remind folks that Grandma's Hands by Bill Withers is one of the most beautiful song ever made.