Writing to a brick wall

-Words mean nothing

-Words mean whatever I, the interpreter, want them to mean at any given moment.

-Words even mean the opposite of what they mean, if I choose in the moment

-Words that are spoken or written were not actually spoken or written

-Words that you never said, and meaning you did not imply, is actually what you’re saying

These are the things I’ve learned being a writer in the advanced, mature internet age. I’ve learned this by how “readers” online react to words I write.

Big honking exception/not all: The vast majority of you here on Substack who read me are genuine adult readers, and I’m grateful for it. Please don’t hear or see yourself in this. I’m complaining about the whole world of online writing.

Twenty-five years ago, I had no idea what it would be like to be a writer in the 21st century. Back then, in the early 2000s, it was still possible to write for publications without having to see and encounter the immediate, instant opinions, outrage, criticism, or petulance of hundreds or thousands of people. Then the internet newly empowered random people to “get published” immediately by means of comments sections and social media.

Back then, I was a lowly newspaper crime reporter. From time to time I was allowed to write analysis pieces (my favorite). In those days, as it had been for as long as newspapers had been around, you’d get a few paper letters to the editor. It was only ever a few unless the article was about a controversial topic.

You, the writer, didn’t get them either. The paper or magazine did. From time to time, an editor would share them with the writer just so he knew what readers were thinking. Occasionally a solid critique came through in such a letter, and the writer was asked to respond to that.

It was civilized and manageable.

That’s all gone today. Today, it’s the equivalent of having to encounter hundreds of “letters to the editor” with no filtering mechanism (the effort of paper mail filters, the editor sorting them filters). They instantly pop up on whatever platform you’re on that allows comments.

If you’ve never been a professional writer, you can’t really intuit how maddening it is, and how vastly different the experience of being a writer is today compared to just a few decades ago.

Because I’m Sisyphus, I keep trying to push the rock up the hill thinking stupidly that this time it will stay at the top. It never does.

I anticipate objections when I write. I think carefully about what I need to disclose to the reader in order to get him to be able to get over any emotional trigger speed bumps so that he’ll be willing to take in what I say even if one sentence was not his favorite.

I try my best to disclose my prior assumptions, my biases, and to at least nod to objections that might come up.

Because clarity is important to me as an author (and as a reader of others’ work), I strive to as plain and transparent as possible. I try to remove mental obstacles from my pieces, because I want readers to understand what I’m saying. Here’s an example of me doing it right now, in-line: Go back and read the last sentence. Notice that I stated that my goal was for the reader to understand what I’m writing, even if they disagree. But right now, this very second that you’re reading this, some other readers are convinced that I wrote "I want readers to agree with me”.

Even me specifically pointing this out in the paragraph above will not stop those readers from “believing” that I said “You just want everyone to agree with you!”

I know this from years of experience writing online, even if what I’m describing seems unlikely to you. If it does, that’s because you’re a mature adult who reads for comprehension. Sorry to burst your bubble, friend, but you’re not as common as we’d hope!

So far today on various platforms (Youtube, others), I’ve had “readers” or viewers tell me:

-Not to discuss SSRI antidepressants “since you have no personal experience and don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” This was in response to a 30-minute video segment in which I disclosed that I have personally used SSRIs for decades.

-That I’m so right to point out that SSRIs are what’s making “white women crazy,” when the entire video or short essay that I wrote argues the exact opposite.

I could give so many examples about so many topics. But it’s always the same thing. No matter how clear, how careful, and how diligent a writer is in constructing a coherent and thoughtful piece, a huge number of “readers” are not actually reading. They’re quite literally writing an entire script in their head that has no relation to what the author said or spoke. Then, they interact with the author or speaker on the basis of that fiction, and get stroppy, insulting, or emotional.

It’s profoundly disrespectful and intensely irritating to someone like me who loves writing, who is very skilled at it, and who treats it like the professional vocation it is. None of that matters. Nothing “works.” The effort is wasted.

So, why am I still Sisyphus? That’s for me to figure out.

The majority of people who read me here (hey, you, that’s you I’m talking about!) are not like that, and that’s part of what keeps me going. Thank you, readers. I just wish there weren’t so much of the other stuff, and also that I can figure out how to care less about the crap.