Tell them what they mean to you
Take the opportunity to tell people who are important to you what they mean to you. That is always a good way, but it’s important when death is near, too.
Please don’t be afraid of the person you love when they’re dying. It is often not pretty. It is distressing. But often more so for those around than for the dying person, if she is being kept comfortable and out of pain with medication.
Go into the room and sit with them, hold hands, and tell them about your love and what they’ve meant to you.
And then, get yourself busy. There’s a meal to be cooked, groceries to bring in, laundry to do, breaks to be given to those who’ve been sitting up all night.
There is no grief therapy you can buy that’s better than jumping into the chores, ordinary and out of the ordinary.
I was at my mom's beside as she lay dying, her 2 brother's and their wives were also there. My mother was heavily medicated and only slightly conscious, but I think she knew we were with her, offering her comfort and promises that my two disabled siblings, one of which is my twin, would be cared for after her death. I've kept my promise to her. Those last moments are for both the dying and the living.
A close friend of mine died after 10 years of dealing with parotid gland cancer with resulting disfigurement and miserable life, except she was always so brave. I am happy to say that I did tell her what she meant to me and what our friendship meant to my life. My mom, the same, although she was pretty much demented for several months prior to her death. I am a retired RN and was always appalled at people who sent their loved ones to the hospital to die because they didn’t want them to die at home. It would have been better if they could have just stayed in familiar surroundings. Some died within hours of being admitted.