If you want to skip the housekeeping, it’s at the top. The mental bric-a-brac appears after the housekeeping section, and it’s for paid subscribers. Non-paying readers or subscribers will be able read the housekeeping section, though.
Housekeeping
First, an important note to recent paid subscribers, including those who unsubscribed very quickly—this note is explanatory for you.
A few people bought paid subscriptions specifically to join Disaffected’s New Year’s Eve hangout on Discord. Some of them then unsubscribed after they didn’t receive the email with the code to join our Discord. One of them left a note on unsubscribing that this was the reason he canceled, and that he was displeased that no one at Disaffected acknowledged his request for the code.
First things first: I’m sorry to those subscribers. It was not intentional. Had I known, I would have fixed it.
Please allow me to show you what you probably do not know from a Substacker’s perspective:
1. I did not receive, that I am aware of, any messages, by any medium (email or otherwise) alerting me that subscribers did not receive the welcome email and code.
2. I’m not saying “I don’t believe you that you messaged me.” I believe you. Instead, I am saying this: “Without telling me the specific means by which you believe you messaged me (email, including the address; by some other platform, including specifics), I cannot reverse-engineer the problem.”
A person like me has eight email accounts, 6 social media accounts, and other means by which I can be contacted. For me to help, you must specify.
Even though I want to help, it’s not objectively possible for me to do so without your help by being specific. I’m just a human entangled in algorithms I don’t fully grasp, in a social media context that no single human can intuitively understand as if he were an algorithm. We’re Team Human! Thank you for understanding.
3. If there is some “private message” or “direct message” function in Substack, something that allows subscribers to DM the owner (me) I am not aware of it and have never seen it.
We never deliberately ignore subscriber requests for help. We appreciate your support, and we care about delivering for you. I am sorry that some of you had hiccups; I just want you to know that I was not ignoring you or taking your financial support for granted.
4. Are you truly sure that you have checked your spam folder? Are you truly sure that you have associated the correct email account with your subscription?
I suggest this because one canceler said they had never received any emails from the Disaffected Newsletter. Again, please do not hear, “I don’t believe you.” I’m not saying that.
However, when I checked Substack’s records, it showed me that the canceler had received 11 emails from Disaffected but had not opened one single email from us. This suggests to me the possibility of a spam folder problem, or an email routing problem. Yes, I also understand that it’s possible that Substack is in error.
6 . When someone subscribes to this Substack, an email receipt is sent to that subscriber. That email receipt includes a code to get into our Discord. I know this because I wrote this custom email, and created a custom link to include in that email.
Frustratingly, automated digital systems will always cause some trouble for a few people; we’ve all been in that position.
Again, I’m very sorry to those of you who had a bad recent experience. Kevin and I appreciate you, and would never just ignore you if we knew that you needed tech help.
Suggested approach if you need help with any kind of access quickly—Send us a “Note” using Substack’s “Notes” feature. I’m most likely to log in and see that first. If necessary, we can take a conversation to email out of the public eye.
Thank you!
Mental Bric-a-Brac
When I "divorced" my personality-disordered mother seven years ago (hardest thing I've done), I did not expect my entire world view to change. But it did.
Almost all of it. Turns out that seeing my tormentor accurately for the first time opened my eyes broadly.
I asked my therapist years ago, "What is the quality a person has to have in order to make significant progress dealing with severe childhood trauma?" He said, "The ability to tolerate and understand that everything you thought you knew was wrong."
He turned out to be correct. Everything changed for me. Most of what I thought I knew about the world was, in fact, incorrect. My allegiances and loyalties were based on lies. What I thought were "facts" were not.
Remember, back then, I was woke-liberal.
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