Last night, for the first time that I can remember, a group of joggers openly tried to get hit by my car.
Yes. I really think they did try.
I’m not certain. And I know that saying this may strike some of you as absurd or paranoid on my part.
It would have seemed that way to me, too, five years ago.
But in that time, I have watched society crumble. I have watched—and documented here and on my show Disaffected—as people dropped obeying road rules. Dropped public courtesies such as “walk on the right so that you don’t have to negotiate every encounter with another pedestrian each time”. Dropped courtesies like saying “excuse me please” when you walk in front of someone within two inches of their face.
Most people would probably say that what happened last night with these joggers was an example of young men being foolishly cocky. Thinking they could outrun my car.
I know that that explanation seems more reasonable and palatable.
But all I can tell you is that this encounter I had last night was unlike any other I can remember. It happened very quickly, but it seemed very much like these young men were willfully trying to be struck by my car. I’ve never thought this about any pedestrian before (I have suspected it among bicyclists. Yes. I am saying that modern bike people are crazy, and I do believe they would try to get hit in order to receive victim attention).
Here is what happened.
It was night. I was turning left at a four way intersection with a light.
My left turn arrow was green. Their DON'T WALK red signal was illuminated.
As I started to turn they picked up their pace, looking like they really did intend to make sure they were in my way by the time I reached the turn point. Missed them by an inch.
What is this behavior?
Public behavior has become so bad that I rarely leave my house. I have always been a homebody, but I might look like an agoraphobic now (I'm not).
This, what happened last night, is an escalation.
For me, in 2023, it is nearly impossible for me to keep my temper in public among the ubiquitous rudeness and aggression that surrounds me. Other store patrons. Hostile, lazy, aggressive store clerks.
Driving scares me in a way it never has. I have been driving since I was 12. I'm good, and it's second nature to me.
Now I'm scared to drive around town. Because no road rules are followed. It is now common for people to simply "take" red lights. From a full stop. Even when you, with the green light, are accelerating.
Now pedestrians are trying to get killed, it seems.
Here's the kicker.
I'm not afraid so much of hitting them* as I am afraid of being charged with manslaughter for not being able to suspend the laws of physics against bicyclists or pedestrians.
Yes. I am saying I honestly believe I could be put in jail to punish me deliberately for the actions of others.
That's not insane. I live in Chittenden County, Vermont. Our DA, Sarah George, will not prosecute, nor even hold in detention, actual murderers. Actual murderers.
*Yes. I am saying that public behavior has pushed me to the point where my first fear is no longer "Oh my God, did I kill someone?" That's the first fear a moral person would have. It is the primary fear I had until recently.
I am now in defense mode. I care more about me than I care about them.
This is rational. This is what happens when a man or woman is pushed too far.
I wouldn't be surprised if they were trying to get hit, likely under the influence of a drug. As you know, I use psilocybin occasionally, but I do so carefully and responsibly. If I were tripping balls while outside around traffic, I can easily predict that I would engage in behavior that reckless, or worse.